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Funny


Matt Simonet 909140
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Matt Simonet 909140
Posted
Posted

I thought it be funny if we started a topic where everybody posted the funny things they have heard on VATSIM from ATC, pilot's or ATIS.

For me it would have to be my good friend and fellow controller Tim Boger

His ATIS reads:

Please advise if you have runway 17/35 and I'll give you a cookie

He said some people have asked LOL

ATA Virtual Pilot

ZMP C-3 Controller

MSP_CTR

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Steven Perry
Posted
Posted

I'm not a real controller, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

Steven Perry

VATSIM Supervisor

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Rey Lopez 883899
Posted
Posted
I'm not a real controller, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

 

LOL yea we should talk more about the funny stuff here on vatsim tho most of the time its noob related...i had a pilot report seeing a onster on a runway at KMSP once, and another saying he couldnt get his frist officer to put the bong away...

The thoughts and/or words or any general things that are expressed above are not a direct reflection of the views of the actual poster myself, Rey Lopez, and should be disregarded and left unread.

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Timothy Boger 942264
Posted
Posted

Ohhhh Matthew, you flatter me

 

How about this one...

 

NWAXXX"Minneapolis Center, this is Northwest XXX request expedited descent into Fargo, we have a man with a heart attack on board."

Me:"Northwest XXX, roger, go ahead and descend at your discretion, maintain 3,000"

little while later...

Me:"Northwest XXX, turn left when able taxi to the terminal ramp, remain this frequency. Be sure to give that man on board my best wishes."

NWAXXX: "Thank you Center, we will tell him"

 

Woulda been funny except that he didn't exactly find it funny.

Timothy Boger

ZMP ATM!

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Rich Lee
Posted
Posted

At KSFO, a pilot overshot his landing on RWY 19L and ended up stopping at the other side of RWY 101. The good ZOA controller on the scope at the time gave him instructions to make a right turn at the 7-Eleven store and taxi back to gate.

Rich Lee - C3

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Ian Elchitz 810151
Posted
Posted

This one always makes me giggle:

 

snap0522.jpg

Ian Elchitz

Just a guy without any fancy titles

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Nicholas Bartolotta 912967
Posted
Posted

One of my favorites from Rick Schaefer (fellow ZID controller) who had in his ATIS, "It's freezing, but welcome to Indy!"

 

My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor

Nick Bartolotta - ZSE Instructor, pilot at large

 

"Just fly it on down to within a inch of the runway and let it drop in from there."

- Capt. Don Lanham, ATA Airlines

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Ross Carlson
Posted
Posted

Once during a flyin I saw these pilot remarks: "Cold beer on board for the Boston controllers" ... I think he was trying to get priority handling.

Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy

Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC

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Matthew Horan 901577
Posted
Posted
My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor

 

LOL!

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Jethro Etienne 845937
Posted
Posted

One of my favorites was in tthe Remarks Sections of one pilot and I qoute....

 

"I must catch 40 winks at some point, but I will be up in time for landing!"

 

 

Jethro Etienne

vZMA Senior Student

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Ethan Klapper 884347
Posted
Posted
This one always makes me giggle:

 

snap0522.jpg

 

I don't know what's funnier here...the fact that it's H/B733 or that his route is "DUNNO" ...

Ethan Klapper

VATUSA13

VATUSA Deputy Events Director

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Matthew Temple 880167
Posted
Posted

A Controller to remain unnamed: "Dude, that was close"

Matthew Temple

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Eric Hebert 832602
Posted
Posted
This one always makes me giggle:

 

snap0522.jpg

 

Ian, you didn't have to black out my call sign, you know

4379.png

Eric J. Hébert (ZOA_EH)

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Eric Hebert 832602
Posted
Posted (edited)
One of my favorites from Rick Schaefer (fellow ZID controller) who had in his ATIS, "It's freezing, but welcome to Indy!"

 

My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor

 

It could have been more funny if the Controller happened to be gay and responded: "Well, I'm a Queen, and I out rank a Baron"

 

Yet another reason when giving progressive taxi instructions in San Francisco one should not say: "Go Straight"... Yup, you'll always here me say "Continue Foward."

Edited by Guest

4379.png

Eric J. Hébert (ZOA_EH)

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Alexandre Geahel 932157
Posted
Posted

Last week flying YYZ-LAS; I used the callsign TSC740 "transat 740"; as I was Voice Receive I sent on text:

 

-Center g'day, with you FL340 on J94 inbound.....

 

CHI_CTR on voice : ---- euh; tango sierraaaaa /--he actually started laughing!! / ok, lets postpone this; whats your callsign so I dont choke on it

 

I was like: (on text) Transat 740

 

It was a nice one!

Dont remember his name

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Matthew Horan 901577
Posted
Posted

Oh, here's one I remember from last week

Turn left 3 o'clock - Issued to one of my aircraft on arrival into Halifax.. had a good laugh over it

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Rey Lopez 883899
Posted
Posted
One of my favorites from Rick Schaefer (fellow ZID controller) who had in his ATIS, "It's freezing, but welcome to Indy!"

 

My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor

 

i cant make out what he said...explain

The thoughts and/or words or any general things that are expressed above are not a direct reflection of the views of the actual poster myself, Rey Lopez, and should be disregarded and left unread.

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Fred Clausen
Posted
Posted

The pilot checks in, and he long windedly checked in and said in this checkin that he was a Cessna. The controller says in his acknowledgement "I am a controller, etc etc"

Fred Clausen, vZAB ATM

ZAB real life

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Garry Morris 920567
Posted
Posted

Nah, pilot checking in said:

 

"Glendale tower, uhhh this is 4537M, Arrowhead Mall, umm with November, and I'm a Baron."

 

Controller: "Baron 4537M, Glendale tower, good afternoon, I'm a controller, make straight in..."

 

So! The pilot announced himself a little funky, and the way he said his aircraft type (Baron) made it sound like he was German Nobility - e.g. Baron Von Richthoffen (sp). So the controller announced his title in life. At least, with my decidedly English sense of humour, that's the way I took it.

 

Another way might be that the pilot was telling the controller he was an airplane, but then Glendale Tower should have said "and I'm an air traffic control tower" which would have been funnier. Ahh well.

 

I found it very entertaining.

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Nicholas Bartolotta 912967
Posted
Posted
One of my favorites from Rick Schaefer (fellow ZID controller) who had in his ATIS, "It's freezing, but welcome to Indy!"

 

My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor

 

i cant make out what he said...explain

 

Yeah don't worry at first I was confused too. Just ignore what the pilots say in the middle of the recording, since that was from their regular conversation and not ATC vs. Pilots.

Nick Bartolotta - ZSE Instructor, pilot at large

 

"Just fly it on down to within a inch of the runway and let it drop in from there."

- Capt. Don Lanham, ATA Airlines

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Trent Hopkinson
Posted
Posted

yeh, if you think ATC can be funny, Intercom conversations are Exceptionally Hillarious!

qfafin.png

Trent Hopkinson YMML. www.youtube.com/musicalaviator WorldFlight 2002,2008,2009, 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2015

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Chris McGee
Posted
Posted

Here is one for you guys: Chris McGee - Indy Center

 

ZID - Turn right 10 degrees

DAL - Sir I can't, I am not FMS equip, can you please give me vectors?

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Jeff Thomas
Posted
Posted

My all time favorite the other night....

 

Pilot is sqking STANDBY.

 

I private message him "Sir, please sqk normal when able" just to get his transponder turned on ....

 

PILOT on 133.0: "Uh, how do I do that sqk normal?"

 

Me on 133.0: "Which pilot client are you using to connect? FSInn, SB3, XSB?"

 

PILOT on 133.0: "Uh...I don't know...."

Jeff Thomas

VP-IT

https://joinava.org

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Jeff Thomas
Posted
Posted

At Chicago O'hare....from the South GA Ramp...

 

CTR: "Blue Angel Four, taxi rwy 32R, call when ready to go"

 

BA4: "Rgr sir, will taxi rwy 32R"

 

a little while later...

 

BA4: "Center, holding short 32R, ready to go...ah...I think we kinda taxied via the expressway..."

 

CTR: "Roger sir, no problems, your I-P[Mod - Happy Thoughts] is paid up, we checked... "

Jeff Thomas

VP-IT

https://joinava.org

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Norm Hare 907837
Posted
Posted (edited)

In another post..far far away, I made the comment that the WSJ article made us sound like nerds...I think this thread proves it

 

 

That being said...I don't get many of these, so maybe there is hope for me yet.

Edited by Guest
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