Matt Simonet 909140 Posted May 24, 2006 at 05:36 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 05:36 PM I thought it be funny if we started a topic where everybody posted the funny things they have heard on VATSIM from ATC, pilot's or ATIS. For me it would have to be my good friend and fellow controller Tim Boger His ATIS reads: Please advise if you have runway 17/35 and I'll give you a cookie He said some people have asked LOL ATA Virtual Pilot ZMP C-3 Controller MSP_CTR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steven Perry Posted May 24, 2006 at 06:10 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 06:10 PM I'm not a real controller, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night! Steven Perry VATSIM Supervisor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey Lopez 883899 Posted May 24, 2006 at 08:54 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 08:54 PM I'm not a real controller, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night! LOL yea we should talk more about the funny stuff here on vatsim tho most of the time its noob related...i had a pilot report seeing a onster on a runway at KMSP once, and another saying he couldnt get his frist officer to put the bong away... The thoughts and/or words or any general things that are expressed above are not a direct reflection of the views of the actual poster myself, Rey Lopez, and should be disregarded and left unread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timothy Boger 942264 Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:08 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:08 PM Ohhhh Matthew, you flatter me How about this one... NWAXXX"Minneapolis Center, this is Northwest XXX request expedited descent into Fargo, we have a man with a heart attack on board." Me:"Northwest XXX, roger, go ahead and descend at your discretion, maintain 3,000" little while later... Me:"Northwest XXX, turn left when able taxi to the terminal ramp, remain this frequency. Be sure to give that man on board my best wishes." NWAXXX: "Thank you Center, we will tell him" Woulda been funny except that he didn't exactly find it funny. Timothy Boger ZMP ATM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Lee Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:27 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:27 PM At KSFO, a pilot overshot his landing on RWY 19L and ended up stopping at the other side of RWY 101. The good ZOA controller on the scope at the time gave him instructions to make a right turn at the 7-Eleven store and taxi back to gate. Rich Lee - C3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Elchitz 810151 Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:40 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:40 PM This one always makes me giggle: Ian Elchitz Just a guy without any fancy titles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicholas Bartolotta 912967 Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:47 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:47 PM One of my favorites from Rick Schaefer (fellow ZID controller) who had in his ATIS, "It's freezing, but welcome to Indy!" My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor Nick Bartolotta - ZSE Instructor, pilot at large "Just fly it on down to within a inch of the runway and let it drop in from there." - Capt. Don Lanham, ATA Airlines Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Carlson Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:49 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:49 PM Once during a flyin I saw these pilot remarks: "Cold beer on board for the Boston controllers" ... I think he was trying to get priority handling. Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Horan 901577 Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:52 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 09:52 PM My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor LOL! Matt www.vatsim.net/prc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jethro Etienne 845937 Posted May 24, 2006 at 10:00 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 10:00 PM One of my favorites was in tthe Remarks Sections of one pilot and I qoute.... "I must catch 40 winks at some point, but I will be up in time for landing!" Jethro Etienne vZMA Senior Student Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Klapper 884347 Posted May 24, 2006 at 10:05 PM Posted May 24, 2006 at 10:05 PM This one always makes me giggle: I don't know what's funnier here...the fact that it's H/B733 or that his route is "DUNNO" ... Ethan Klapper VATUSA13 VATUSA Deputy Events Director Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Temple 880167 Posted May 25, 2006 at 12:39 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 12:39 AM A Controller to remain unnamed: "Dude, that was close" Matthew Temple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Hebert 832602 Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:27 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:27 AM This one always makes me giggle: Ian, you didn't have to black out my call sign, you know Eric J. Hébert (ZOA_EH) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Hebert 832602 Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:30 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:30 AM (edited) One of my favorites from Rick Schaefer (fellow ZID controller) who had in his ATIS, "It's freezing, but welcome to Indy!" My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor It could have been more funny if the Controller happened to be gay and responded: "Well, I'm a Queen, and I out rank a Baron" Yet another reason when giving progressive taxi instructions in San Francisco one should not say: "Go Straight"... Yup, you'll always here me say "Continue Foward." Edited May 25, 2006 at 04:52 AM by Guest Eric J. Hébert (ZOA_EH) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexandre Geahel 932157 Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:44 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:44 AM Last week flying YYZ-LAS; I used the callsign TSC740 "transat 740"; as I was Voice Receive I sent on text: -Center g'day, with you FL340 on J94 inbound..... CHI_CTR on voice : ---- euh; tango sierraaaaa /--he actually started laughing!! / ok, lets postpone this; whats your callsign so I dont choke on it I was like: (on text) Transat 740 It was a nice one! Dont remember his name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Horan 901577 Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:51 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:51 AM Oh, here's one I remember from last week Turn left 3 o'clock - Issued to one of my aircraft on arrival into Halifax.. had a good laugh over it Matt www.vatsim.net/prc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey Lopez 883899 Posted May 25, 2006 at 05:27 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 05:27 AM One of my favorites from Rick Schaefer (fellow ZID controller) who had in his ATIS, "It's freezing, but welcome to Indy!" My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor i cant make out what he said...explain The thoughts and/or words or any general things that are expressed above are not a direct reflection of the views of the actual poster myself, Rey Lopez, and should be disregarded and left unread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred Clausen Posted May 25, 2006 at 05:32 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 05:32 AM The pilot checks in, and he long windedly checked in and said in this checkin that he was a Cessna. The controller says in his acknowledgement "I am a controller, etc etc" Fred Clausen, vZAB ATM ZAB real life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garry Morris 920567 Posted May 25, 2006 at 05:35 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 05:35 AM Nah, pilot checking in said: "Glendale tower, uhhh this is 4537M, Arrowhead Mall, umm with November, and I'm a Baron." Controller: "Baron 4537M, Glendale tower, good afternoon, I'm a controller, make straight in..." So! The pilot announced himself a little funky, and the way he said his aircraft type (Baron) made it sound like he was German Nobility - e.g. Baron Von Richthoffen (sp). So the controller announced his title in life. At least, with my decidedly English sense of humour, that's the way I took it. Another way might be that the pilot was telling the controller he was an airplane, but then Glendale Tower should have said "and I'm an air traffic control tower" which would have been funnier. Ahh well. I found it very entertaining. http://www.execjetva.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicholas Bartolotta 912967 Posted May 25, 2006 at 10:14 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 10:14 AM One of my favorites from Rick Schaefer (fellow ZID controller) who had in his ATIS, "It's freezing, but welcome to Indy!" My buddy Dan Charles posted on the ATAv forums a while back this link to a recording of a controllers quick-witted response to a pilot checking in (took me a while but I finally understood it ): http://media.putfile.com/controller-humor i cant make out what he said...explain Yeah don't worry at first I was confused too. Just ignore what the pilots say in the middle of the recording, since that was from their regular conversation and not ATC vs. Pilots. Nick Bartolotta - ZSE Instructor, pilot at large "Just fly it on down to within a inch of the runway and let it drop in from there." - Capt. Don Lanham, ATA Airlines Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trent Hopkinson Posted May 25, 2006 at 11:58 AM Posted May 25, 2006 at 11:58 AM yeh, if you think ATC can be funny, Intercom conversations are Exceptionally Hillarious! Trent Hopkinson YMML. www.youtube.com/musicalaviator WorldFlight 2002,2008,2009, 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris McGee Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:50 PM Posted May 25, 2006 at 01:50 PM Here is one for you guys: Chris McGee - Indy Center ZID - Turn right 10 degrees DAL - Sir I can't, I am not FMS equip, can you please give me vectors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Thomas Posted May 25, 2006 at 02:24 PM Posted May 25, 2006 at 02:24 PM My all time favorite the other night.... Pilot is sqking STANDBY. I private message him "Sir, please sqk normal when able" just to get his transponder turned on .... PILOT on 133.0: "Uh, how do I do that sqk normal?" Me on 133.0: "Which pilot client are you using to connect? FSInn, SB3, XSB?" PILOT on 133.0: "Uh...I don't know...." Jeff Thomas VP-IT https://joinava.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Thomas Posted May 25, 2006 at 02:33 PM Posted May 25, 2006 at 02:33 PM At Chicago O'hare....from the South GA Ramp... CTR: "Blue Angel Four, taxi rwy 32R, call when ready to go" BA4: "Rgr sir, will taxi rwy 32R" a little while later... BA4: "Center, holding short 32R, ready to go...ah...I think we kinda taxied via the expressway..." CTR: "Roger sir, no problems, your I-P[Mod - Happy Thoughts] is paid up, we checked... " Jeff Thomas VP-IT https://joinava.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norm Hare 907837 Posted May 25, 2006 at 02:54 PM Posted May 25, 2006 at 02:54 PM (edited) In another post..far far away, I made the comment that the WSJ article made us sound like nerds...I think this thread proves it That being said...I don't get many of these, so maybe there is hope for me yet. Edited May 25, 2006 at 06:10 PM by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts