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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


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It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

A usual occurence on Heathrow, slightly worrying some members can't seem to operate a comp[Mod - Happy Thoughts]   ATC: BAW123, Push and start approved, face North. Pilot: Push approved, face Nor

Me: "Delta358 Heavy Cleared for takeoff runway 06L"

 

(358 was a 744 that was trailing a company 744 and was properly separated based on our SOP's and ok for takeoff).

 

Pilot: "Delta358 holding on the runway for 2 minutes for wake separation"

 

Me: Speechless.

 

thankfully no other aircraft on final.

 

 

 

Mark.

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Pilot: I have vacated the runway and am declaring emergency with total electrical failure

 

Me:Wind [email protected] runway 1R cleared for takeoff, right closed traffic approved, traffic on right downwind.

Pilot:[turns left]

 

Pilot after lining up with the terminal: Established on the gate.

[numerous other pilots proceed to report established on the gate]

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What we did with a fellow pilot of the vACC:

Pilot:"Brussels Tower, good evening, established on ILS 25L"

ATC:"Hello, runway inspection in progress, expect extremely late landing clearance and continue approach, wind 220 at 12."

 

And a week ago a pilot said this to me:

Me: "XXXX, You're leaving my airspace, no further ATC available, monitor UNICOM on frequency 122.800, thanks for flying Brussels, bye bye."

->Pilot:"euh yes, 122.800 and euh thanks for my service, bye bye XXXX."

 

I guess we need a pilot feedback button

Best Regards

 

Sam De Roose

Belux vACC - ACCBE2- Training Director

sam.deroose (at) beluxvacc.org

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lol i usually forget to put an alternate when flying in south america and europe.

 

i usually reply with "surprise me", or put whatever they want there, i wont be going that way

 

Went something like this.

 

Pilot: "Tower, GMI123 (changed) request IFR clearance to Vienna."

Me: "Please file an alternate airport."

Pilot: "Why don't you like Vienna?"

 

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Me: please verify your squawk 0718

 

P: roger, sqk 0718.

 

P: Ground, 0718 is invalid, 0718 is invalid

 

Me: callsign, how come? please set your transponder to 0718 as soon as possible

 

P: Ground, 8 doesn't exist.

 

*speechless*

Just want to make sure about this. You do realise the pilot was correct, transponder codes only use values up to 7?

 

8+9 do not exist on a transponder. 0718 is not a valid squawk.

 

Either that, or I have misunderstood your speechless comment and it's actually about yourself

 

Cheers!

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N775F (after being cleared for an approach into KRST and asked to report his IFR cancellation): "Uhhh Center, Mooney 75F, we...uh...gear up landed into Rochester."

Me on MSP_11_CTR: "Mooney 75F, I'm going to go ahead and [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ume you're canceling IFR at this time..."

Dhruv Kalra

VATUSA ZMP ATM | Instructor | VATSIM Network Supervisor

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DALXXXX (cleared direct destination airport 300-400 miles from the field): "Center, what runway can we expect at XYZ?"

 

Center: "The ATIS is available on XXX.XX frequency, I'm not really sure what approach control is running right now, nor am I honestly required to, but you can plan a runway [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ignment with him. Make sure you get the ATIS sometime between now and the field and advise approach control you have that code checking in with them."

 

DALXXXX: "OK"

 

(150 miles later the DAL aircraft begins a random and un[Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned northeasterly turn away from the field)

 

Center: "Uhh, DALXXXX, say heading? You appear to be headed northeasterly, you were previously [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned direct the field..."

 

DALXXXX: "Well, we're starting vectors for the runway XXL approach now."

 

Center: "Thanks, but I'll be the controller here. You're over 80 miles from the field and approach control will be providing those vectors after he buys your handoff... Turn left direct the field again please."

 

DALXXXX: "OK"

Edited by Guest

Andrew James Doubleday | Twitch Stream: Ground_Point_Niner

University of North Dakota | FAA Air Traffic Collegiate Training Initiative (AT-CTI) GraduateGPN_Horizontal_-_Tertiary.thumb.png.9d7edc4d985ab7ed1dc60b92a5dfa85c.png

 

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DALXXXX (cleared direct destination airport): "Center, what runway can we expect at XYZ?"

 

Center: "The ATIS is available on XXX.XX frequency, I'm not really sure what approach control is running right now, nor am I honestly required to, but you can plan a runway [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ignment with him. Make sure you get the ATIS sometime between now and the field and advise approach control you have that code checking in with them."

 

DALXXXX: "OK"

 

(150 miles later the DAL aircraft begins a random and un[Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned northeasterly turn away from the field)

 

Center: "Uhh, DALXXXX, say heading? You appear to be headed northeasterly, you were previously [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned direct the field..."

 

DALXXXX: "Well, we're starting vectors for the runway XXL approach now."

 

Center: "Thanks, but I'll be the controller here. You're over 80 miles from the field and approach control will be providing those vectors after he buys your handoff... Turn left direct the field again please."

 

DALXXXX: "OK""

 

Did that happen to be a MMB?

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