The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.

[Jake Sims 1158411 0]

Post the funniest things you have ever heard while controlling with new pilots below.

[Mark Wolpert 6]

Me: "Delta358 Heavy Cleared for takeoff runway 06L"

 

(358 was a 744 that was trailing a company 744 and was properly separated based on our SOP's and ok for takeoff).

 

Pilot: "Delta358 holding on the runway for 2 minutes for wake separation"

 

Me: Speechless.

 

thankfully no other aircraft on final.

 

 

 

Mark.

[Ernesto Alvarez 818262 2]

that wouldve been followed by

 

"Delta 358, taxi straight ahead, exit runway to the right, hold at Bravo, expect short delay"

 

done that one

[Jake Sims 1158411 0]

Him-"Good day TWR, DALXXX, on the ground ready to copy ILS to kennedy."

 

Me-"DALXXX, Tower good afternoon, glad you're not in the air, or id lose my job, I hate to break it to you, but you cant request ILS Clearance to Kennedy."

 

**Disconnects**

[Krzysztof Szerszen 861225 0]

RW:

 

-runway 33 cleared for take-off

-we need one more minute after the preceeding

-vacate to the left (a/c on final)

-we're rolling now

 

Both a/c Medium category.

[Romano Lara 3]

Me (HNL): Cleared direct CLUTS (Pilot went somewhere else..)

Me (HNL): Where are you going?

 

UAL: Chicago, you?

 

Me (HNL): Okay, radar services terminated.

[Darrol Larrok 1140797 0]

Pilot: I have vacated the runway and am declaring emergency with total electrical failure

 

Me:Wind [email protected] runway 1R cleared for takeoff, right closed traffic approved, traffic on right downwind.

Pilot:[turns left]

 

Pilot after lining up with the terminal: Established on the gate.

[numerous other pilots proceed to report established on the gate]

[Romano Lara 3]

Oh, speaking of emergencies...

 

*744 on a 2 mile final*

 

P: We're declaring an emergency, we lost 2 engines.

 

[Trent Stevens 1028473 0]

Oh, speaking of emergencies...

 

*744 on a 2 mile final*

 

P: We're declaring an emergency, we lost 2 engines.

 

 

Hmm. I would have expected 4 engines, after they land they somehow taxi to the gate.

[Matthew Bucholski 1023183 0]

Went something like this.

 

Pilot: "Tower, GMI123 (changed) request IFR clearance to Vienna."

Me: "Please file an alternate airport."

Pilot: "Why don't you like Vienna?"

 

[Sam De Roose 1088100 0]

What we did with a fellow pilot of the vACC:

Pilot:"Brussels Tower, good evening, established on ILS 25L"

ATC:"Hello, runway inspection in progress, expect extremely late landing clearance and continue approach, wind 220 at 12."

 

And a week ago a pilot said this to me:

Me: "XXXX, You're leaving my airspace, no further ATC available, monitor UNICOM on frequency 122.800, thanks for flying Brussels, bye bye."

->Pilot:"euh yes, 122.800 and euh thanks for my service, bye bye XXXX."

 

I guess we need a pilot feedback button

[Ernesto Alvarez 818262 2]

lol i usually forget to put an alternate when flying in south america and europe.

 

i usually reply with "surprise me", or put whatever they want there, i wont be going that way

 

Went something like this.

 

Pilot: "Tower, GMI123 (changed) request IFR clearance to Vienna."

Me: "Please file an alternate airport."

Pilot: "Why don't you like Vienna?"

 

[Erik Wachters 0]

To an aircraft cruizing at FL330 and indicating FL334. He forgot to set his altimeter to 1013 (29.92).

 

ATC: "BAWxxx check altimeter setting, indicating FL334"

BAW: "altimeter is ON and checked"

 

Erik

[Marc Wheeler 0]

Me: XXX000 Traffic at your 12 o'clock, 10 miles, crossing left to right 1000 ft below, a small Fokker F100, report in sight.

XXX000: Ctr, I have alway wanted to say this, XXX000 as the little Fokker in sight.

[Brian Cheung 1181193 0]

^ that is hilarious

[David Zhong 0]

Pilot: Centre, VOZ###, were we cleared to 320 or 380?

Centre: Affirm.

[Allen Mañigo 1179348 0]

 

Me: please verify your squawk 0718

 

P: roger, sqk 0718.

 

P: Ground, 0718 is invalid, 0718 is invalid

 

Me: callsign, how come? please set your transponder to 0718 as soon as possible

 

P: Ground, 8 doesn't exist.

 

*speechless*

[Paul Byrne 0]

Me: please verify your squawk 0718

 

P: roger, sqk 0718.

 

P: Ground, 0718 is invalid, 0718 is invalid

 

Me: callsign, how come? please set your transponder to 0718 as soon as possible

 

P: Ground, 8 doesn't exist.

 

*speechless*

Just want to make sure about this. You do realise the pilot was correct, transponder codes only use values up to 7?

 

8+9 do not exist on a transponder. 0718 is not a valid squawk.

 

Either that, or I have misunderstood your speechless comment and it's actually about yourself

 

Cheers!

[Dhruv Kalra 31]

N775F (after being cleared for an approach into KRST and asked to report his IFR cancellation): "Uhhh Center, Mooney 75F, we...uh...gear up landed into Rochester."

Me on MSP_11_CTR: "Mooney 75F, I'm going to go ahead and [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ume you're canceling IFR at this time..."

[Andrew Wolcott 814793 0]

Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am a VATSIM supervisor.

 

[Andy Duong 1018407 0]

Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am a VATSIM supervisor.

 

 

+1 !!!!

 

Haha

[Andrew Wolcott 814793 0]

Too many inside jokes with this one

[Dhruv Kalra 31]

Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am a VATSIM supervisor.

 

Yeah it's ok. That makes me laugh too.

[Andrew Doubleday 5]

DALXXXX (cleared direct destination airport 300-400 miles from the field): "Center, what runway can we expect at XYZ?"

 

Center: "The ATIS is available on XXX.XX frequency, I'm not really sure what approach control is running right now, nor am I honestly required to, but you can plan a runway [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ignment with him. Make sure you get the ATIS sometime between now and the field and advise approach control you have that code checking in with them."

 

DALXXXX: "OK"

 

(150 miles later the DAL aircraft begins a random and un[Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned northeasterly turn away from the field)

 

Center: "Uhh, DALXXXX, say heading? You appear to be headed northeasterly, you were previously [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned direct the field..."

 

DALXXXX: "Well, we're starting vectors for the runway XXL approach now."

 

Center: "Thanks, but I'll be the controller here. You're over 80 miles from the field and approach control will be providing those vectors after he buys your handoff... Turn left direct the field again please."

 

DALXXXX: "OK"

Edited April 19, 2011 by Guest

[Andrew Wolcott 814793 0]

DALXXXX (cleared direct destination airport): "Center, what runway can we expect at XYZ?"

 

Center: "The ATIS is available on XXX.XX frequency, I'm not really sure what approach control is running right now, nor am I honestly required to, but you can plan a runway [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ignment with him. Make sure you get the ATIS sometime between now and the field and advise approach control you have that code checking in with them."

 

DALXXXX: "OK"

 

(150 miles later the DAL aircraft begins a random and un[Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned northeasterly turn away from the field)

 

Center: "Uhh, DALXXXX, say heading? You appear to be headed northeasterly, you were previously [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned direct the field..."

 

DALXXXX: "Well, we're starting vectors for the runway XXL approach now."

 

Center: "Thanks, but I'll be the controller here. You're over 80 miles from the field and approach control will be providing those vectors after he buys your handoff... Turn left direct the field again please."

 

DALXXXX: "OK""

 

Did that happen to be a MMB?