Jake Sims 1158411 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Post the funniest things you have ever heard while controlling with new pilots below. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Wolpert Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Me: "Delta358 Heavy Cleared for takeoff runway 06L" (358 was a 744 that was trailing a company 744 and was properly separated based on our SOP's and ok for takeoff). Pilot: "Delta358 holding on the runway for 2 minutes for wake separation" Me: Speechless. thankfully no other aircraft on final. Mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernesto Alvarez 818262 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 that wouldve been followed by "Delta 358, taxi straight ahead, exit runway to the right, hold at Bravo, expect short delay" done that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Sims 1158411 Posted April 17, 2011 Author Share Posted April 17, 2011 Him-"Good day TWR, DALXXX, on the ground ready to copy ILS to kennedy." Me-"DALXXX, Tower good afternoon, glad you're not in the air, or id lose my job, I hate to break it to you, but you cant request ILS Clearance to Kennedy." **Disconnects** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krzysztof Szerszen 861225 Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 RW: -runway 33 cleared for take-off -we need one more minute after the preceeding -vacate to the left (a/c on final) -we're rolling now Both a/c Medium category. Realistic ultra-intolerant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romano Lara Posted April 17, 2011 Share Posted April 17, 2011 Me (HNL): Cleared direct CLUTS (Pilot went somewhere else..) Me (HNL): Where are you going? UAL: Chicago, you? Me (HNL): Okay, radar services terminated. Romano LaravACC Philippines, Manager - Training & Standards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darrol Larrok 1140797 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Pilot: I have vacated the runway and am declaring emergency with total electrical failure Me:Wind [email protected] runway 1R cleared for takeoff, right closed traffic approved, traffic on right downwind. Pilot:[turns left] Pilot after lining up with the terminal: Established on the gate. [numerous other pilots proceed to report established on the gate] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romano Lara Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Oh, speaking of emergencies... *744 on a 2 mile final* P: We're declaring an emergency, we lost 2 engines. Romano LaravACC Philippines, Manager - Training & Standards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trent Stevens 1028473 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Oh, speaking of emergencies... *744 on a 2 mile final* P: We're declaring an emergency, we lost 2 engines. Hmm. I would have expected 4 engines, after they land they somehow taxi to the gate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Bucholski 1023183 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Went something like this. Pilot: "Tower, GMI123 (changed) request IFR clearance to Vienna." Me: "Please file an alternate airport." Pilot: "Why don't you like Vienna?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam De Roose 1088100 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 What we did with a fellow pilot of the vACC: Pilot:"Brussels Tower, good evening, established on ILS 25L" ATC:"Hello, runway inspection in progress, expect extremely late landing clearance and continue approach, wind 220 at 12." And a week ago a pilot said this to me: Me: "XXXX, You're leaving my airspace, no further ATC available, monitor UNICOM on frequency 122.800, thanks for flying Brussels, bye bye." ->Pilot:"euh yes, 122.800 and euh thanks for my service, bye bye XXXX." I guess we need a pilot feedback button Best Regards Sam De Roose Belux vACC - ACCBE2- Training Director sam.deroose (at) beluxvacc.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernesto Alvarez 818262 Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 lol i usually forget to put an alternate when flying in south america and europe. i usually reply with "surprise me", or put whatever they want there, i wont be going that way Went something like this. Pilot: "Tower, GMI123 (changed) request IFR clearance to Vienna." Me: "Please file an alternate airport." Pilot: "Why don't you like Vienna?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik Wachters Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 To an aircraft cruizing at FL330 and indicating FL334. He forgot to set his altimeter to 1013 (29.92). ATC: "BAWxxx check altimeter setting, indicating FL334" BAW: "altimeter is ON and checked" Erik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marc Wheeler Posted April 18, 2011 Share Posted April 18, 2011 Me: XXX000 Traffic at your 12 o'clock, 10 miles, crossing left to right 1000 ft below, a small Fokker F100, report in sight. XXX000: Ctr, I have alway wanted to say this, XXX000 as the little Fokker in sight. VATSIM: P1|C3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Cheung 1181193 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 ^ that is hilarious Brian Cheung - 1181193 ZDC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Zhong Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Pilot: Centre, VOZ###, were we cleared to 320 or 380? Centre: Affirm. David Zhong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allen Mañigo 1179348 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Me: please verify your squawk 0718 P: roger, sqk 0718. P: Ground, 0718 is invalid, 0718 is invalid Me: callsign, how come? please set your transponder to 0718 as soon as possible P: Ground, 8 doesn't exist. *speechless* Ace Allen vACC Philippines - S3 http://vatphil.org/cms/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Byrne Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Me: please verify your squawk 0718 P: roger, sqk 0718. P: Ground, 0718 is invalid, 0718 is invalid Me: callsign, how come? please set your transponder to 0718 as soon as possible P: Ground, 8 doesn't exist. *speechless* Just want to make sure about this. You do realise the pilot was correct, transponder codes only use values up to 7? 8+9 do not exist on a transponder. 0718 is not a valid squawk. Either that, or I have misunderstood your speechless comment and it's actually about yourself Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhruv Kalra Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 N775F (after being cleared for an approach into KRST and asked to report his IFR cancellation): "Uhhh Center, Mooney 75F, we...uh...gear up landed into Rochester." Me on MSP_11_CTR: "Mooney 75F, I'm going to go ahead and [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ume you're canceling IFR at this time..." Dhruv Kalra VATUSA ZMP ATM | Instructor | VATSIM Network Supervisor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Wolcott 814793 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am a VATSIM supervisor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Duong 1018407 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am a VATSIM supervisor. +1 !!!! Haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Wolcott 814793 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Too many inside jokes with this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhruv Kalra Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am a VATSIM supervisor. Yeah it's ok. That makes me laugh too. Dhruv Kalra VATUSA ZMP ATM | Instructor | VATSIM Network Supervisor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Doubleday Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 (edited) DALXXXX (cleared direct destination airport 300-400 miles from the field): "Center, what runway can we expect at XYZ?" Center: "The ATIS is available on XXX.XX frequency, I'm not really sure what approach control is running right now, nor am I honestly required to, but you can plan a runway [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ignment with him. Make sure you get the ATIS sometime between now and the field and advise approach control you have that code checking in with them." DALXXXX: "OK" (150 miles later the DAL aircraft begins a random and un[Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned northeasterly turn away from the field) Center: "Uhh, DALXXXX, say heading? You appear to be headed northeasterly, you were previously [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned direct the field..." DALXXXX: "Well, we're starting vectors for the runway XXL approach now." Center: "Thanks, but I'll be the controller here. You're over 80 miles from the field and approach control will be providing those vectors after he buys your handoff... Turn left direct the field again please." DALXXXX: "OK" Edited April 19, 2011 by Guest Andrew James Doubleday | Twitch Stream: Ground_Point_Niner University of North Dakota | FAA Air Traffic Collegiate Training Initiative (AT-CTI) Graduate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Wolcott 814793 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 DALXXXX (cleared direct destination airport): "Center, what runway can we expect at XYZ?" Center: "The ATIS is available on XXX.XX frequency, I'm not really sure what approach control is running right now, nor am I honestly required to, but you can plan a runway [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ignment with him. Make sure you get the ATIS sometime between now and the field and advise approach control you have that code checking in with them." DALXXXX: "OK" (150 miles later the DAL aircraft begins a random and un[Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned northeasterly turn away from the field) Center: "Uhh, DALXXXX, say heading? You appear to be headed northeasterly, you were previously [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned direct the field..." DALXXXX: "Well, we're starting vectors for the runway XXL approach now." Center: "Thanks, but I'll be the controller here. You're over 80 miles from the field and approach control will be providing those vectors after he buys your handoff... Turn left direct the field again please." DALXXXX: "OK"" Did that happen to be a MMB? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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