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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.

Jake Sims 1158411

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  • 2 weeks later...

So I was controlling Vancouver tower last night and this aircraft ended up flying through my airspace in the path of the active runway (twice). He then tried to line up with the runway and finally contacted me with this:


Then a minute later I see him doing almost a 180 turn at about 150 feet so I pulled up my simulator which was connected as an observer through Euroscope and see this:


Then he sends me this message:


I guess there's always going to be "those pilots" no matter what VATSIM does



Josh Jenk

CZVR I1 controller


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  • 1 month later...

Happened yesterday while controlling Toronto Centre, we were running RWY 05 and 06L configs which is the preferred configuration unless cross winds exceed 25 knots in dry conditions.


private chat:

Me: please contact me on my frequency 125.77

Aircraft: Winds are 350 at 10 and you’re running approaches on 05 and 06L... WHY?

Me: because that’s what they are running in real world.

Aircraft: I’m going to disconnect and wait until you’re offline, bye.



Travis Chan (1402756)

Deputy Division Director

[email protected]



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Oh, on a Saturday Night Ops event on Auckland Control (NZCH-R_CTR) 126.0 down in New Zealand


ZKOGO - Request to be away from cockpit for 30 seconds

Myself - Approved

ZKOGO - Gonna go get my coffee

Myself - laughs over frequency slightly, thinks it's what typical pilots say when they head off for a drink


2 minutes later.. (in the sound of a Spongebob time card if you imagine)


ZKOGO - Ok the p[Mod - Happy Thoughts]engers changed their heads, request direct to Napier

Myself - Roger, confirm changing your destination to NZNR from NZGS?

ZKOGO - Affirm

Myself - Ok, track direct Napier


1 minute later..


ZKOGO - Ok they changed their minds, request track to New Plymouth (NZNP)

Myself - Another one.. (in the style of DJ Khalid). uhh track direct New Plymouth then.

ZKOGO - roger direct New Plymount


Another 1 minute later...


ZKOGO - Now request return to Tauranga (NZTG) (the airport he departed)

Myself - *sighs* Ok track to Tauranga, expect visual approach runway 25 via the coastline.


Then he made it back to NZTG safe and sound.



Zain Khan NZAA - 1345074


Enroute Controller (C1)

Pacific Oceanic Partnership Oceanic Endorsed Controller (/O)

VATSIM New Zealand




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  • 1 month later...

Had to leave as it was getting late, but decided to stay online a few more minutes to land that one last guy, so he wouldn't be left hanging close to the airport.


LPPT_APP: Winds ..., runway 03, cleared to land.

ABC123: Runway 03, cleared to land.

20 seconds later

ABC123: Going around. There are about 3 AI aircraft on final.


Well, perhaps next time I'll have better luck when I decide to stay online for that one last guy.

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After 2 hours on Eurocontrol Islands I decided to have a nice and pleasant journey from Gatwick to Innsbruck in a B787. Due to the fact I had a broadband upgrade recently I started to stream too and during my flight there were few people watching.


As instructed by Ground we were suppose to switch over to UNICOM 122.800 and contact London Control IF he will still be online when we reach the holding point of runway 26L but of course considering the fact it was ''virtual worlds best controlling facility'' I couldn't resist and tuned in to London Control to MONITOR the frequency - it was more than worth it.


Upon reaching the holding point all I heard was the following:


London Control - ABC123 Listen I know stopping is something we all hate but holding points are there at Heathrow for a reason. It doesn't actually bother me that you failed to stop this time because there is little to no traffic next to you but if my sector would have been busier it would been hell...


Once airborne at approximately FL116 I head some mumbling response by one of the younger generations pilot and London Control have came up with the following response:


London Control - Last calling station I have no idea what you have said but YES thats correct


No wonder my chat went crazy saying ''London is at it again''


Now something that is not flying/controlling related. I was waiting for a student to show up for his Eurocontrol authorization session when I check my Discord and see the following message


Person X Sorry I'm going to be late, my goldfish is drowning


30 minutes later he wasn't there so I just cancel the session...

VATCAN Controller | CZVR Home Controller
Formerly VATEUD ATC Department Lead
PID/CID 1091056

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

P: BDL_TWR Twin otter PJ-WIS on the ramp request vertical take off and unrestricted climb to FL4000


C: PJ-WIS BDL_TWR standby

**coordination with center**

C: vertical take off and unrestricted climb to FL4000 approved advise when ready for departure


P: Wilco


C: Attention all aircraft within the vicinity of the Bradley airport, rocket activity will be commenced over the airport please use caution remain this frequency for further.


**A few minutes later**


P: PJ-WIS ready for departure


C: PJ-WIS vertical departure from the ramp is at pilots discretion once airborne contact BOS_CTR 134.700


P: Departure at pilots discretion center on 134.700 PJ-WIS


C: Attention all aircraft with in the vicinity of the Bradley airport, rocket activity is now being commenced please use caution

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  • Board of Governors

Gotta love WorldFlight taking 40-60 aircraft into airports that are way too small to accommodate 40-60 aircraft....


JAC_GND: "Giant 1471 Heavy, the aircraft in front of you is disabled, do you feel comfortable running him over?" "Excellent, Giant 1471 Heavy, Runway 19, taxi via A, you may run over or through or however you like crush the 737 on the taxiway in front of you...." And followed mere seconds later by SPK245 calling, having overrun the snowy, icy runway.... "SPK245, yes, I see you down there in that ditch. Next left on Main Street, third left on Aviation Way, past the Alamo Rent A Car, through the fence, and you should be able to find a gate." Yes, it was a fun time for my first time ever working KJAC (or anywhere in Salt Lake City Center, for that matter). I guess I know why if they don't ask me back....

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Operations

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  • Board of Governors

SFO_DEP: "UAL123, what departure are you on?!?"

--no response--

SFO_DEP: "UAL123, you turned right. There's no departure off San Francisco that turns right...."

Unknown Pilot: "He must be on the EFDUP Departure..."

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Operations

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Controlling Eurocontrol South, ABC123 is climbing higher than the cruise level filed


EURS_FSS: ABC123, say your final level

ABC123: thanks sir, have nice day


(after dying on my chair)


EURS_FSS: negative, report your final cruise level

ABC123: FL300

EURS_FSS: roger, continue as filed


(proceeded to die of asphyxiation)


Five minutes later, an aircraft (on his own will) wrote on the frequency tab:


DEF456: connecting to 122.800, bye


And proceeded to turn the transponder off.




I always enjoy EURS, it's good memes

Best Regards

Nola Alessio

I1 ATC Instructor | VATITA Training Director


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