Andrew Doubleday Posted April 19, 2011 at 05:56 AM Posted April 19, 2011 at 05:56 AM Should be noted that upon checking in with the approach controller, that pilot never did check in with the ATIS either... Mind boggling indeed with how many years we've had that tool available for and how few people seem to grasp the relatively simple concept of it. Andrew James Doubleday | Twitch Stream: Ground_Point_Niner University of North Dakota | FAA Air Traffic Collegiate Training Initiative (AT-CTI) Graduate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romano Lara Posted April 19, 2011 at 09:36 AM Posted April 19, 2011 at 09:36 AM :lol: Me: please verify your squawk 0718 P: roger, sqk 0718. P: Ground, 0718 is invalid, 0718 is invalid Me: callsign, how come? please set your transponder to 0718 as soon as possible P: Ground, 8 doesn't exist. *speechless* *speechless* Romano LaravACC Philippines, Manager - Training & Standards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Frias Posted April 19, 2011 at 11:51 AM Posted April 19, 2011 at 11:51 AM Some of our pilots use Wilco. And this plane tends to change its mind every now and then. A few days ago: TAPXXX, is proceeding as filed. Suddenly he starts turning left into an opposite direction. Me: TAPXXX, confirm diverting? TAPXXX: Er.... standby..... what? Me: TAPXXX, confirm that you are diverting? TAPXXX: Standby, standby! ... Negative we are now resuming... Miguel Miguel Frias Senior Instructor (I3) & Certified Pilot (P4), ZLA I-11 graduate Portugal vACC Training Director (ACCPT2), VATEUD Operations Director (VATEUD8) Portugal vACC, VATEUD, VATSIM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Rodgers 910155 Posted April 19, 2011 at 12:50 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 12:50 PM 1: Airline 123: "Approach, can we descend now? We're getting close to the field. I don't want to waste your time." Approach: "Airline 123, negative. While I appreciate your thought, but we have flows and procedures to follow. I promise you, we know what we're doing on this side." (Thinking: At this point I can only waste my own time. And I wasn't holding him at that altitude in blind followership of the SOPs. There was traffic on approach to another field below.) This was one of two pilots who used the same 'time' comment in 10 minutes. I have a feeling, though, that this latter one used it because he heard another pilot use it. ---------- 2: Pilot: "Approach, we have the field in sight." App: "Airline 123, Confirm you have the river in sight. A straight in approach from your present position will get you a free formation flight with some cool looking planes with pointy objects under their wings." Kyle Rodgers The content of this post, unless expressly written, refers only to those procedures in the United States of America, following the Federal Aviation Administration Regulations thereof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Arsenault 949706 Posted April 19, 2011 at 01:01 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 01:01 PM Me: Reach32, taxi B, backtrack rwy 31, line up rwy 31. Reach32: Roger, taxi B, backtrack 31, line up rwy 31. After a minute or so Reach32: Center, can we take rwy 13? I don't have a rwy 31 here. Me: Reech32, taxi c, lineup rwy 13. Dan Dan [Mod - Happy Thoughts]nault CZQM/CZQX Instructor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Bott 1100894 Posted April 19, 2011 at 01:02 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 01:02 PM 1: Airline 123: "Approach, can we descend now? We're getting close to the field. I don't want to waste your time." Approach: "Airline 123, negative. While I appreciate your thought, but we have flows and procedures to follow. I promise you, we know what we're doing on this side." (Thinking: At this point I can only waste my own time. And I wasn't holding him at that altitude in blind followership of the SOPs. There was traffic on approach to another field below.) This was one of two pilots who used the same 'time' comment in 10 minutes. I have a feeling, though, that this latter one used it because he heard another pilot use it. ---------- 2: Pilot: "Approach, we have the field in sight." App: "Airline 123, Confirm you have the river in sight. A straight in approach from your present position will get you a free formation flight with some cool looking planes with pointy objects under their wings." I actually overheard this communication. There are many more examples that could have been listed. I personally liked: ATC: "Welome to XXXX, exit right when able and taxi to the ramp." ...short pause.... Pilot: "Can we exit the runway now?" Great patience Kyle... I would have lost my mind much sooner... Mark Bott / I3 - 1100894 NYARTCC Training Administrator Program Manager for Events - Staff Specialist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Rodgers 910155 Posted April 19, 2011 at 01:33 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 01:33 PM Great patience Kyle... I would have lost my mind much sooner... Thanks Mark. There were a few facepalm moments. There are two times I'll hesitate before keying on frequency, in general: 1, last minute flightplan or chart lookup; and 2, composure (from laughing at a pilot's joke, my joke, or anything else; frustration; or just pure and simple speechlessness). Kyle Rodgers The content of this post, unless expressly written, refers only to those procedures in the United States of America, following the Federal Aviation Administration Regulations thereof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davor Kusec 990407 Posted April 19, 2011 at 05:58 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 05:58 PM Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am a VATSIM supervisor. Yeah it's ok. That makes me laugh too. Suggestion for a new approach??? Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am your friend. Davor Kusec Air Traffic Director | Northeast Region VATUSA Supervisor | VATSIM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johan Grauers Posted April 19, 2011 at 06:42 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 06:42 PM :lol: Me: please verify your squawk 0718 P: roger, sqk 0718. P: Ground, 0718 is invalid, 0718 is invalid Me: callsign, how come? please set your transponder to 0718 as soon as possible P: Ground, 8 doesn't exist. *speechless* I had a similar moment a week ago as a pilot, took me a while to convince ground that I couldn't acctually set an 8. I also remember almost a year ago, I was controlling at a fly-in and had a pilot who had some trouble hearing me. As I recall it sounded something like: "ABC123 [enter clearance here], squawk 6047". "Tower, ABC123 [readback with incorrect squawk". "ABC123 confirm squawk 6047" "squawk 6045" "negative, 604-7" "squawk 6044?" "negative, 604----7" (starting to lose patience as a relatively new controller with many aircraft waiting) "squawk 6048, ABC123" "readback correct" (yes I did know he couldn't set it). It wasn't exactly correct behaviour of me, in my defence I texted the squawk to him later and I've controlled him many times after that without incidents (he's a regular visitor to Swedish airspace and I'm always happy to see him there) . But I guess my patience wasn't as good back then as it is now Johan Grauers Event Coordinator - vACC Scandinavia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charan Kumar Posted April 19, 2011 at 07:02 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 07:02 PM Somewhere over Scandinavia, at my destination, ATIS was hosted by GND at destination, so I picked up the ATIS and being too proactive Me: CTR, XXXXXX has Foxtrot on board. CTR : XXXXXX, thank you very much, but please return it to GND on reaching your destination, I am sure he will be looking for it!! Me: (after falling off my chair and returning as calmly as I could...) Wilco CTR was none other than Mr. Florian Harms When is your next Flight||VATSIM HitSquad Member, ZOA/ZAK/GANDER/P1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastien Bartosz Posted April 19, 2011 at 07:07 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 07:07 PM "squawk 6045""negative, 604-7" "squawk 6044?" "negative, 604----7" I hate when that happens ! New York ARTCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darrol Larrok 1140797 Posted April 19, 2011 at 07:14 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 07:14 PM Here's another good one: Pilot:Dulles tower, NXXXX requesting to land Me:NXXXX, Dulles tower, good evening, say location. Pilot:Over Virginia Me:Can you be any more specific, what is your distance from the field and altitude Pilot:About 20 miles from JFK Me:Are you landing at dulles? Pilot:No, I'd landing to land at jfk. Me:This is Dulles tower. Pilot:Ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freek Vandeursen 1101105 Posted April 19, 2011 at 08:43 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 08:43 PM The handoff from one CTR controller to the next: CTR: , report your favourite vegetables to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johan Grauers Posted April 19, 2011 at 10:15 PM Posted April 19, 2011 at 10:15 PM Now that's one I have to remember for next years april fools. It'd be intresting to see what the next controller says when the 12th pilot reports up with "KLM85F with you, FL340 and we prefer carrots please". Johan Grauers Event Coordinator - vACC Scandinavia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom van der elst Posted April 20, 2011 at 01:14 PM Posted April 20, 2011 at 01:14 PM Now that's one I have to remember for next years april fools. It'd be intresting to see what the next controller says when the 12th pilot reports up with "KLM85F with you, FL340 and we prefer carrots please". Heavy french accent "Wiean raidar koet efening , zis zis french pozt for toe ait flight leveeel zree zeven zero and we like ze peaz pleaze" /Heavy french accent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Wolcott 814793 Posted April 21, 2011 at 05:22 PM Posted April 21, 2011 at 05:22 PM Suggestion for a new approach??? Hello, my name is Dhruv Kalra and I am your friend. LOL, this is on par with: Hi! I'm with the FAA and I'm here to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Avila 1077868 Posted April 21, 2011 at 07:57 PM Posted April 21, 2011 at 07:57 PM Centre: Air Canada XXXX descend and maintain FL 180 ACA: Request Lower Centre: *In a lower Voice*-ACAXXXX how is this?...Descend and maintain 120 Beech Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi in front of the 747. ATC: Yeah, it's OK. He's not hungry. Tower: "Height and position?" Pilot: "I am 6 foot 2in and I'm sitting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Lynch 1167842 Posted April 22, 2011 at 01:00 AM Posted April 22, 2011 at 01:00 AM Here's another good one: Pilot:Dulles tower, NXXXX requesting to land Me:NXXXX, Dulles tower, good evening, say location. Pilot:Over Virginia Me:Can you be any more specific, what is your distance from the field and altitude Pilot:About 20 miles from JFK Me:Are you landing at dulles? Pilot:No, I'd landing to land at jfk. Me:This is Dulles tower. Pilot:Ok. Wait-Over VA, 20 miles from NYC? More confusion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Uytterhoeven 1151895 Posted April 22, 2011 at 01:29 PM Posted April 22, 2011 at 01:29 PM Lol the things you experience on EBBR_APP or EBBU_CTR: Pilot: Brussels Control, XXX123 at stand 503 requesting IFR to Brussels. Me: XXX123, confirm you want an IFR to Brussels? Pilot: Yes I am at London Heathrow. Me: Sir this is Belgian airspace, and I only cover Belgium & Luxemburg. Pilot: Yes but I want to fly IFR to Brussels. Me: Contact Heathrow Director for that please. Sometimes you think pilots do some strange stuff.. BeluxvACC Controller ezyJet VA Staff Member | Vatsim Liaison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony Baker 1080999 Posted April 23, 2011 at 05:29 AM Posted April 23, 2011 at 05:29 AM Last year or so: MSP_CTR: [Callsign, here] Contact Chicago Center 127.8 Pilot: Over to Windy City, Chi Town Center 27.8 See Ya Pilot: Windy City Center, [Callsign] ..... or the one I [sarcasm] love [/sarcasm] Pilot: Chicago Tower, [insert pilot request here] ORD_TWR (me):XXXX, Chicago Tower does not exist. This is Ohare Tower. Ah Chicago ZAU S-2, Major Certified ZAU S-1 Mentor (Disclaimer: the post above does not necessarily express the opinion or stance of ZAU or ZAUs training program, this view is made by me and me alone) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harold Rutila 974112 Posted April 23, 2011 at 04:33 PM Posted April 23, 2011 at 04:33 PM I love the random "Yeah, he is." "Are you kidding me!?" "Unbelievable." That's what happens when pilots forget to use the company comms button for company comms and broadcast on my frequency instead. Pilot: "Denver Center, am I going to hit a mountain?"Me: "NXXXX, no you're not." Me: "Expect FL340 10 minutes after departure." (Trying not to embarr[Mod - Happy Thoughts] the pilot about filing an invalid altitude.)Pilot: "But we filed for 330, can I get that?" Pilot: "Center, just wanted to let you know that I'll be declaring an emergency before landing."Me: "Sounds like a plan." (Via PM with another controller, from the vZDV Forums):[02:10:03] DEN_I_APP: (ASE) isn't an easy one. In this weather it will be a real challenge. We have a pot of coffee on at KDEN if you can't make it in. [02:10:08] AAL718: yes i saw that on the chart. thanks for the advise. thank God this is virtual and not real [02:16:09] AAL718: the winds are not favoring a landing on rwy 15[02:16:30] DEN_I_APP: KASE always lands 15 due to terrain [02:16:48] DEN_I_APP: you can try to circle, but there is not other approaches [02:17:33] AAL718: figured that when did not see an appr for 33. . do you think that is why smaller aircraft are recommended Undisclosed pilot after a .contactme: "[02:50:04] holy [Mod - lovely stuff]... i was afk , no idea how my plane took off" Well I'm at FL310 and my altimeter is 29.92. maybe your radar is malfunctioning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernesto Alvarez 818262 Posted April 23, 2011 at 07:28 PM Posted April 23, 2011 at 07:28 PM not ATC to pilot but pilot to pilot. thought i'd share. coming into ATL on left downwind 28 *metar shows 220 @ 7+kts* PRIVATE>AFA**** : tfc. is going the other way man PRIVATE>To AFA**** : did you read the metar? PRIVATE>AFA**** : look at flight aware. REal life landing east. current winds.looks like it is shifting though PRIVATE>To AFA****: not what i asked. they do it in real world due to many things. ya gotta love pilot controllers and all the while, traffic going in and out on both ends with no issues except this one pilot that wants to play ATC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave James 1018738 Posted April 24, 2011 at 03:06 PM Posted April 24, 2011 at 03:06 PM (Whilst on TWR) Aircraft (B744) just airborne p[Mod - Happy Thoughts]ing 600ft - "Mayday Mayday Mayday Call Sign all engines gone, request vectors for ILS approach and emergency landing.........." Aircraft self positioned turned a 15 mile final landed safely and taxied to gate - top gliding captain ! David James VATSIM Screenshot Contest Coordinator Intel Core 2 Quad CPU Q6600 2.4gig, RAM 3.25gig, ATI Radeon HD4800, XP Pro SP3, FS9.1 FSnav FSinn VRC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Lynch 1167842 Posted April 25, 2011 at 09:29 PM Posted April 25, 2011 at 09:29 PM Controlling on X-Flightserver- Me: Sir, you filed for VFR with an altitude of FL360. Did you mean to file for 3600? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arjun Murthy 1051343 Posted April 26, 2011 at 08:32 AM Posted April 26, 2011 at 08:32 AM "[callsign], resume own navigation, position 3000nm south west of Singapore, track direct to Singapore, flight planned route" (or one of the cities around singapore). What else but a GPS Direct flight plan Some really good quotes on here. Love the Dhruv Kalra comparison with "FAA and i'm here to help" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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