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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


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I'm pretty sure I heard this guy check in on freq with IAD_APP when you logged off. His check in alluded to what you were talking about, which was pretty sad. Further evidence that the AF1 callsign will be permanently [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ociated with noob.

 

AF1 shall be permanently [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ociated with noobs because the correct callsign is A1

Matthew Montgomery

ZOB ARTCC

Staff Mentor

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"Tower, g'day, Clipper 811, international car park level 3 bay 14, request taxi" During a quiet evening on Sydney Tower.

It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

AF1 shall be permanently [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ociated with noobs because the correct callsign is A1

I believe you may be the noob in this case, Matt.

 

TBL 2-3-8

President and Family

Service President Family

Air Force AF1 EXEC1F

Marine VM1 EXEC1F

Navy VV1 EXEC1F

Army RR1 EXEC1F

Coast Guard C1 EXEC1F

Guard G1 EXEC1F

Commercial EXEC1 EXEC1F

Edited by Guest

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AJ Heiser

Senior Controller, ZLA ARTCC

"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment." ~ Jim Horning

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I'm pretty sure I heard this guy check in on freq with IAD_APP when you logged off. His check in alluded to what you were talking about, which was pretty sad. Further evidence that the AF1 callsign will be permanently [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ociated with noob.

 

AF1 shall be permanently [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ociated with noobs because the correct callsign is A1

 

AF1 is used. At least, that's how their strips popped out when AF1 was at my facility and how it appeared on the TDW in the air.

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I have to concur, I've heard from a number of real world sources that AF1 is, in fact, the correct callsign to be used. It has something to do with the fact that Host doesn't recognize aircraft call signs less than 3 characters. Maybe some real world sources can comment on this.

 

I do, however, concur that most people flying AF1 are... Well... Not a welcomed sight or pleasant experience on frequency for the most part.

 

I HAVE seen some of the VUSAF guys actually file it with the aircraft type VC25 (the aircraft code for the type of Boeing 747 model that transports the President) with great flight plans that have been a pleasure to work... That's few and far between, however.

Andrew James Doubleday | Twitch Stream: Ground_Point_Niner

University of North Dakota | FAA Air Traffic Collegiate Training Initiative (AT-CTI) GraduateGPN_Horizontal_-_Tertiary.thumb.png.9d7edc4d985ab7ed1dc60b92a5dfa85c.png

 

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Interestingly enough, you'll notice that they file as a B742. In fact, I checked, VC25 is actually not recognized by ICAO Doc 8643.

Looks like we're deviating a bit from the OP's intentions for this topic. Let's try and get back on track.

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AJ Heiser

Senior Controller, ZLA ARTCC

"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment." ~ Jim Horning

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There have definitely been some funny things over the years...

 

This first one was not me, but one of my fellow controllers when I first started at ZDC:

Pilot: Dee Cee center, American XXX, with you at DCA request clearance.

Controller: Aircraft calling, confirm you were calling WASHINGTON Center...

Pilot: We don't see him online, switching to UNICOM, good day.

 

The rest are me:

 

Me: SWA1234, reduce speed to 170 knots, then descent and maintain 2000.

Pilot: Unable.

Me: SWA1234, turn right heading 090, climb and maintain 5000. Cleared direct SWANN, hold NW with 1 minute legs, expect further clearance time 2100 zulu.

Pilot: Roger, 170 knots, then down to 2000, SWA1234

 

Pilot: Sir, we're requesting higher.

Me: AAL512, unable for noise abatement.

Pilot: Why would noise be a factor if we're climbing higher?

Me: AAL512, have you ever heard the noise a 737 makes when it hits a 757? Apparently it's loud and the residents of Northern Virginia don't like it.

 

After a pilot landed long on runway 33L at BWI...

 

Me: SWA620, welcome to Baltimore, make a right there on Airport Loop Blvd, bring that around until you see the ramp for I-195, hop on that and take it around to the airport, they should see you coming and open the gate for you. After that, taxi via P to the gate.

Pilot disconnects.

 

JM

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I have a couple.

 

Working Denver Tower:

Me: PAYXXX wind [email protected], RWY 25 clear for take off

PAYXXX: Clear for takeoff RWY 25

2 minutes later:

PAYXXX: Denver Tower, we are going down

Me: Emergency services on the way

PAYXXX: Bring lots and I do mean Lots of Body bags

 

 

Seattle Approach:

Me: FFTXXX turn right heading 140

FFTXXX: right one four thousand, FFTXXX

 

Steve Bartlett

ZKC_SB

C1/Mentor

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On Cardiff Approach I have had a few good ones.

 

Me....123 turn left 210

pilot turn right 030

ME *&%$£**** (in my head)

 

 

.............

 

Me ...... p[Mod - Happy Thoughts] your message

Pilot... Good Morning Sir I am a PA 28 at 2500, 140kts inbound to you from Kemble with 2 POB, I intend to approach Cardiff from the north and request 4 VFR circuits and then a departure to the south, I have some odd noise from the engine but it is not an emergency, my wife has a cold so I may leave the cockpit for a moment,

 

Me.... (yawn)

 

Pilot.... after my departure to the south I will be vfr to Minehead for some general VFR handling to the south blah bla bl;ah blah

 

Me... Say again sir you was stamped on (tee hee)

Wycliffe Barrett: C3 Controller

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"if god meant for us to fly, he would have given us tickets" Mel Brooks

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Thats my conversation when I was flighting from Krakow to I think so Stansted

 

Me.: Krakow Tower good evening low as the landing field(Its sound bit diffrent in Polish language) Ryanair three two Alfa Wizki request clearence to our destination London Stansted

 

Tower.:Ryanair three two alfa wizki you are clear to your destination Stansted as field runway 25 in use after departure continule straight ahead as an bullet shoot initialy climb to 4000ft and them we would see what next

 

That one was when I was flighing from Berlin Tengel to Brize Norton some pilot said

 

over the LON_SC_CTR freq

 

Pilot.: London Control thanks for fu%##@^# my whole flight bye bye

LON_SC_CTR no reaction

Pilot Disconnect

 

That haven't been me

 

I hope it haven't been so boaring :p

VATEUD ATC Department Lead | Senior Divisional Instructor [i3]

For any queries contact me on [email protected]

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Pilot: Boston Center, UALxxx, 9000 for 14000.

BOS_CTR: United xxx, Boston Center, good evening. Climb and maintain FL320, proceed direct SSOXS.

Pilot: Up to 320, but can't go to SSOXS. I'm a Yankees fan.

BOS_CTR: United xxx, alright... Prepare to copy holding instructions.

Pilot: Direct SSOXS, United xxx

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Membership

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That's my small conversation with pilot which get lost in flight from Glasgow to London Stansted

 

I was on Ground that night

 

 

Pilot turn on my frequency

Pilot.: Stansted Ground goodevening BAW123 with you at FL350 holding over XXX(Don't remember) we are currently over Manchester and ee...... we are completely lost is there any chance that you can direct us towards the airport....

Me.: Goodevening BAW123 Stansted Ground..... hmm...... because there is no London Control online or any other radar in your range the best think what you can do is head towards south where you should flight over the London Heatrow or other bigger airport

Pilot.:Roger will head south and will report you when flight over any bigger airport

Me.: BAW123 Correct for now switch to UNICOM 122.800 and continue own navigation cya !

Pilot.: 122.80 bye BAW123

 

50 minutes later

 

Pilot.: Stansted Ground its me again BAW123 hmmm..... I'm flight over a sea still heading towards south my plane show me that I have 20 nautical miles towards LFPG.. do you know what airport is that..?

Me.: BAW123 for your own information you are entering the France airspace.. and the LFPG is Charles de Gueal (Don't know how to spell it ) airport please stand by ...

 

I saw that there is an supervisor online on observator I wrote to him that the BAW123 is lost and he should flight to Stansted but he is currently over France can he help me...

 

Supervisor.:Hmm... so BAW123 should flight to Stansted but he is over Paris is that correct..?

Me.: Yeap

Supervisor.o you have any clue why this happend...?

Me.: hmm.... he contact me when he was over Manchester and he told me that he is lost I told him to flight south till he will flight over any bigger airport

Supervisor.: hmm..... heh.... today pilots... stand by please..

 

Pilot Dissconect

 

Supervisor.: He should be alright now

Me.: Ehh..... okay...

Supervisor.: have a nice night and if you need my help in somethink else just write to me

Me.: Roger thanks cya

That was like at 2:00Z or 3:00Z a year ago but I'm going to remember that for pretty long time

VATEUD ATC Department Lead | Senior Divisional Instructor [i3]

For any queries contact me on [email protected]

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good example of what not to do for both controllers and pilots.

 

in the future, just say you cant help since you are on ground and recommend they ask for help from a supervisor or another pilot or even use the map in their sim. youll just confuse the already lost pilot by telling them to head south

 

But we was all time talking on privat and he told me that he will direct towards Stansted with the VORs and Radials so he wouldn't actually have to head south all the time but yeah.. I think you are wright

VATEUD ATC Department Lead | Senior Divisional Instructor [i3]

For any queries contact me on [email protected]

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good example of what not to do for both controllers and pilots.

 

in the future, just say you cant help since you are on ground and recommend they ask for help from a supervisor or another pilot or even use the map in their sim. youll just confuse the already lost pilot by telling them to head south

 

I think we should try to keep this post on topic and avoid correcting controllers & pilots alike... instead just enjoy the funny situations that are posted. Shouldn't be too hard...

 

JM

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good example of what not to do for both controllers and pilots.

 

in the future, just say you cant help since you are on ground and recommend they ask for help from a supervisor or another pilot or even use the map in their sim. youll just confuse the already lost pilot by telling them to head south

 

I think we should try to keep this post on topic and avoid correcting controllers & pilots alike... instead just enjoy the funny situations that are posted. Shouldn't be too hard...

 

JM

 

No problem for me if this would help the newbies and pretty old controllers like me

VATEUD ATC Department Lead | Senior Divisional Instructor [i3]

For any queries contact me on [email protected]

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Had an interesting one while working ORD_TWR last night.

 

(I'm leaving the callsign out so as to not ember[Mod - Happy Thoughts] this person)

 

N12345: O'hare Tower, N12345 looking for clearance to Kennedy with information Alpha.

ORD_TWR: N12345, O'hare I am unfamiliar with the aircraft type that you listed could you please let me know what kind of plane you are in?

N12345: N12345 is a Star Wars X-Wing Fighter Jet*

ORD_TWR: (holding back laughter) rgr

 

 

 

*He filed his aircraft type as B/HURI/Q (supposedly Star War's technology has advanced FMC navigation?...sweet )

 

In short, I quickly .walloped the guy (something along the lines of "Luke Skywalker is looking for clearance from Chicago") and had it taken care of. It was a pretty interesting situation the entire way around because this guy was so serious that he wanted to fly in his plane.......I guess to each his own?

ZAU S2 Controller

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Adam

Should let him take off, and see if he could qctually fly like a normal plane

 

 

Hmm,

/me thinks he should take the blimp or sr71 out

 

Warning: SR71 will bust 250kts on take off

ZAU S-2, Major Certified

ZAU S-1 Mentor

(Disclaimer: the post above does not necessarily express the opinion or stance of ZAU or ZAUs training program, this view is made by me and me alone)

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