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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


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It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

A usual occurence on Heathrow, slightly worrying some members can't seem to operate a comp[Mod - Happy Thoughts]   ATC: BAW123, Push and start approved, face North. Pilot: Push approved, face Nor

One day, I was controlling ground at New York's Kennedy airport and a new pilot had a bad mic. He PM'ed me asking for my phone number because he saw all those youtube videos with the sound clips in which the controller gives the pilot who screwed up a phone number for when he was at the gate :

 

pilot: " I'm sorry. I have a bad mic. What's your phone number?"

 

Me: "Why?"

 

Pilot: "I figured I should call to explain what went wrong like in all those videos online where the pilot is given a phone number to call."

 

Me: "..."

 

I lol'ed and PM'ed him that he probably didn't want to pay for international calls (his home base was Zurich). This was also a pilot who was very receptive when I pointed him to the PRC and the VATEUD site so he made my day in more ways than one (I had been waiting for a pilot like this one).

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That's just to ensure a straight in approach. A close approach could render a go around.

Miguel Frias

Senior Instructor (I3) & Certified Pilot (P4), ZLA I-11 graduate

Portugal vACC Training Director (ACCPT2), VATEUD Operations Director (VATEUD8)

Portugal vACC, VATEUD, VATSIM

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Have you noticed that the controller in fs9 never argues with the pilot when off line. Happy days,art

 

 

Nope, they just do what any good VATSIM controller should do when the argumentative pilot is incapable of following ATC instructions...

 

"Global 123, IFR flight plan is canceled, radar service terminated. Squawk 1200. Maintain VFR. Frequency change approved."

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Have you noticed that the controller in fs9 never argues with the pilot when off line. Happy days,art

 

 

Nope, they just do what any good VATSIM controller should do when the argumentative pilot is incapable of following ATC instructions...

 

"Global 123, IFR flight plan is canceled, radar service terminated. Squawk 1200. Maintain VFR. Frequency change approved."

 

Nah...

"Global 123, cease further radio communications and stand by for a supervisor."

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Its probably more like "Global 123, I want you to call this phone number when you have landed"

Happened to me once in RW. Wasn't at all funny, especially since it happened while I was sitting an instructor rating renewal test…

Alistair Thomson

===

Definition: a gentleman is a flying instructor in a Piper Cherokee who can change tanks without getting his face slapped.

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Its probably more like "Global 123, I want you to call this phone number when you have landed"

Happened to me once in RW. Wasn't at all funny, especially since it happened while I was sitting an instructor rating renewal test…

 

Ouch.

Well, it wasn't too bad. We were in the circuit at Glasgow International, Scotland, and he wanted me to give him an EFATO (engine failure after takeoff), as I would do with an advanced student. It was rwy 23, and the local rule there is that you need to have begun the go-around following the EFATO before becoming abeam the Loganair hangar (which is no longer there, by the way).

 

But he was God and I was a lowly instructor and he wanted to mess about with doing some wrong stuff to see if I noticed, so I, er, kind of lost situational awareness and allowed He Who Must Be Obeyed to drift on past the go-around point.

 

Well, once the ATC "call me" message arrived, I explained to Him what had just happened, and he was OK about it. I p[Mod - Happy Thoughts]ed. And ATC were pretty good about it too, actually.

Alistair Thomson

===

Definition: a gentleman is a flying instructor in a Piper Cherokee who can change tanks without getting his face slapped.

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Newbie with no established radio contact flies into CTR making APP unhappy (possible near miss with an IFR on short final). He finally calls in, gets his clearance, stays on the frequency for maybe a minute before leaving our zone.

 

(Originally in Polish)

TWR: You gentlemen are leaving my airspace, monitor approach on frequency 123.450. Good night.

Pilot: Okay, roger. Leaving your airspace, monitor approach on 123.450. By the way, you called us gentlemen in plural. Is there any problem with my connection? Am I displayed twice or something?

 

Had to explain him that this is a common habit in Polish aviation phraseology. Caused a good chuckle on the freq.

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Newbie with no established radio contact flies into CTR making APP unhappy (possible near miss with an IFR on short final). He finally calls in, gets his clearance, stays on the frequency for maybe a minute before leaving our zone.

 

(Originally in Polish)

TWR: You gentlemen are leaving my airspace, monitor approach on frequency 123.450. Good night.

Pilot: Okay, roger. Leaving your airspace, monitor approach on 123.450. By the way, you called us gentlemen in plural. Is there any problem with my connection? Am I displayed twice or something?

 

Had to explain him that this is a common habit in Polish aviation phraseology. Caused a good chuckle on the freq.

 

I heard that I was just doing VFR Circuits over Warsaw

VATEUD ATC Department Lead | Senior Divisional Instructor [i3]

For any queries contact me on [email protected]

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  • 2 weeks later...
Well I'm not a controller, but yesterday on the PHNL unicom I heard (well, read really): ": On the download for overhead approach runway 08L". Since it was a C17 I'm [Mod - Happy Thoughts]uming an 'overhead approach' is a military thing (if not, please educate me), but I doubt it has a 'download' leg.

 

An overhead break puts the aircraft into a downwind from over the runway numbers, midfield or departure end depending on if a controller tells them to break at a specific point or where the pilot chooses to break. But it is one that is usually approached from near the final approach course, so don't know what exactly that guy was doing.

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