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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


Jake Sims 1158411

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VATSIM doesnt simulate real life...

 

VATSIM is the Virtual Air Traffic Simulation network, connecting people from around the world flying online or acting as virtual Air Traffic Controllers. This completely free network allows aviation enthusiasts the ultimate as-real-as-it-gets experience. Air Traffic Control (ATC) is available in our communities throughout the world, operating as close as possible to the real-life procedures and utilising real-life weather, airport and route data. On VATSIM you can join people on the other side of the planet to fly and control, with nothing more than a home computer.

 

Sounds to me that we're simulating the real world as much as possible. Besides, at the Dutch Vacc, we simulated the runway closure and never used that runway during the maintenance period. Ofcourse we can't enforce everyone to not fly that runway, especially if there is no tower or approach controller online (I've occasionally seen people fly the runway 09/27 in that period). I'm just trying to say that Vatsim does simulate real life as much as possible.

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ACCNL5 (Assistant Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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Its a new one maybe 2 years old might even be less than that. Introduced to stop people disrupting others on unicom.

 

It makes sense when most people are just trying to use it for situational awareness and don't actually "get anything out of" someone else declaring emergency.

 

Like for a controller, it's an additional test of their skills and is directly related to them... but if I'm just flying a STAR, it's just someone else getting in the way.

 

What's peoples thoughts on general emergency declaring on Vatsim? I've not done any deliberate ones, but is it considered part of the fun or does it get annoying?

 

I did have to declare a technical issue yesterday when my throttles became inoperative after being asked to vacate Gatwick 08R.... my cat knocked the USB out, but I decided not to p[Mod - Happy Thoughts] that specific detail onto the tower in case they called Company and asked why I had pets in the cockpit.

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I did have to declare a technical issue yesterday when my throttles became inoperative after being asked to vacate Gatwick 08R.... my cat knocked the USB out, but I decided not to p[Mod - Happy Thoughts] that specific detail onto the tower in case they called Company and asked why I had pets in the cockpit.

It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It wasn't terribly busy, but eventually I had to disconnect. No taxiing without gear.

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meanwhile on Belux Vacc

OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure.

APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position

OO-BET: ooo there's a field *dives*

APPROACH: Roger, if you die... Ill send a deadperson car

*airplane crashes*

OO-BET: Approach this is BET, sadly to inform you that I survived

APPROACH: Roger, uhh monitor unicom 122.800 byeee

OO-BET: roger switching, and btw the farmer his field is now plowed

 

thx Elliott and Simon for this great moment

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Luka Stevens

Belux vACC Training Director (ACCBE2)

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(This is mainly for the SUPs commentary) On Miami Center.

This was after the pilot took 20+ minutes to actually takeoff, after holding short of the runway. P[Mod - Happy Thoughts]ing 6000ish:

Pilot: mayday mayday mayday

Supervisor (via PM): Launch the SAR helo!

Pilot: I need help to land!

Supervisor: kind of a hard request for you to fill since he's the only one who can fly/land the thing.

Pilot: *mumbles* crash

Pilot: not funny mayday mayday mayday crash

Josh Glottmann
Deputy Air Traffic Manager
Oakland ARTCC
[email protected]

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

A usual occurence on Heathrow, slightly worrying some members can't seem to operate a comp[Mod - Happy Thoughts]

 

ATC: BAW123, Push and start approved, face North.

Pilot: Push approved, face North.

 

[5 minutes p[Mod - Happy Thoughts]]

 

Pilot: BAW123, request taxi.

ATC: Are you sure you're facing North?

Pilot: Yes.

ATC: What does it say at the top of your NAV display? 180?

Pilot: Yes.

ATC: That would be south then, wouldn't it...

 

The Joys.

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Network Supervisor | C1 | P1

VATSIM UK

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On the topic of pilots declaring emergency's.

 

I had an incident a few years ago where I was flying an approach and lost visibility in the middle of my screen. I later learned that my wife had set the anti virus program to run at 23:00 on Wednesday and it messed up flight sim. I apologized to the controller and told him I needed to log off due to the problem. His response was to ask if I was declaring an emergency and proceeded to handle it as such. Landed it and walked away.

 

I wish I had checked his name as he handled it so well and I would have let him know he saved an online flight from being a frustration. I think it was in the Bahama's.

 

Todd

Flying is easy. Landing is the trick.

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Doing emergencies is an important part of flying (online). The CoC states you have to have permission from the controller to do one. This is obvious, because it increases the work load heavily and if for example only a Center is online, his workload might be already quite high.

 

I once did a Fedex flight at EHAM with a ground controller and approach controller online. I asked the Approach controller when my cargo was still being loaded if he was okay with me doing an emergency and he was fine with it. He did really great and handled me really professional. I think the controller liked it as well, because it's something different than a dozen of normal situations. "Climb FL130" "Monitor unicom 122.8 bye" etc. If I'd be a controller, I wouldn't mind an emergency once in a while. It keeps me sharp and makes sure my skills are still enough.

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ACCNL5 (Assistant Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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(...) you have to have permission from the controller to do one.

(...)

I once did a Fedex flight at EHAM with a ground controller and approach controller online. I asked the Approach controller when my cargo was still being loaded if he was okay with me doing an emergency and he was fine with it. (...)

 

Ok, so you did a planned emergency. What about the more realistic emergencies caused by a system failure randomly triggered by the flight simulator, or pilot error (e.g. not loading enough fuel)? In such cases it would be weird to ask "is it ok if I have an emergency?" My understanding is that in those situations you can simply make your mayday call. If the controller doesn't want to handle it for whatever reason, they can then simply tell you to disconnect or "cheat" your way out of the emergency.

 

(we're getting offtopic here)

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Code of Conduct B8:

 

Pilots are permitted to declare in-flight emergencies only when under positive air traffic control. (...) If, for any reason, air traffic control requests the pilot to terminate the emergency, then the pilot must do so IMMEDIATELY or log off of VATSIM. (...)

 

So, yes, you could declare an emergency, but if the controller doesn't want you to do one, you most log off or terminate the emergency immediately.

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ACCNL5 (Assistant Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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  • 1 month later...

Ok, not purely online but you will get the idea...

 

I was on the phone scheduling a repair while online controlling a quiet airport. And this is what happened:

 

Phone: Yeah, I need to get a starter installed...Hang On..

'Radio": NWA123 wind 350 at 12, rwy 5L cleared to land.

Pilot: (readback)

Phone: What was that?

Me: Nothing.. So anyway.(time compression).wait a sec.

Me: NWA123 Welcome to Indianapolis, exit right when able.

'Radio': Readback

Me: NWA123 taxi to the ramp via B T

'Radio': Readback

Phone: Are you in a tower??

Me: No, just having some fun.

Phone: Does the FAA know you are taking calls at work?

Me: Dunno, I do it all the time!

(At this point he's not going to let it go, so I have a bit of fun)

Phone: That's just not right

Me: Yeah, hang on, let me get another beer, be right back.

 

Oddly enough I didn't get my work scheduled there and I DID get another beer.

Who said VATSIM wasn't entertaining for a controller?

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I got to the door!

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