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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


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It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

A usual occurence on Heathrow, slightly worrying some members can't seem to operate a comp[Mod - Happy Thoughts]   ATC: BAW123, Push and start approved, face North. Pilot: Push approved, face Nor

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
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  • 5 months later...

I wasn't the controller, but saw this yesterday on a _CTR frequency:

 

"ATC: ABC123, descend to altitude 4000 ft by QNH 1022

ABC123: Turn left heading 300

ATC: ABC123, Try again...

ABC123: Turn left heading 300"

 

This entire communication was held on text, so I have no idea how the pilot managed to mess that one up, twice.

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I wasn't the controller, but saw this yesterday on a _CTR frequency:

 

"ATC: ABC123, descend to altitude 4000 ft by QNH 1022

ABC123: Turn left heading 300

ATC: ABC123, Try again...

ABC123: Turn left heading 300"

 

This entire communication was held on text, so I have no idea how the pilot managed to mess that one up, twice.

 

Lemme guess, EBBU_CTR

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Luka Stevens

Belux vACC Event and social media coordinator (ACCBE4)

luka.s[email protected]

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

Not controlling, so to speak. To set the scene, the aircraft was observed skimming along at 3000ft, approximately 1,000nm from it's destination.

 

[10:50:56] CMM_SUP: Hello [...]. My name is Callum. I am one of the VATSIM supervisors. Please reply. To contact me simply type (without the quotes) ".msg CMM_SUP hello" and then press enter.

[10:54:38] [...]: good morning

[10:54:44] [...]: everybody on board is death

[10:54:51] [...]: because FO is unable to wake up captain

[10:54:53] CMM_SUP: it seems that way to me, too

 

I thought it was funny, anyway

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'Ello, everyone!

 

On CTP at LON_S_CTR:

London Control, good evening BAWXXX with you FL4000.

after 15 seconds laughing...

Station calling London, say again.

here comes the pilot, 150% confident of himself...

BAWXXX with you, FL4000.

another 15 seconds laughing...

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Another one: "Line up and wait behind the departing traffic after he arrives."

Néstor Pérez
A Random Platypus
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  • 4 weeks later...

I was flying, not controlling, when I overheard this one tonight during VATUSA's Friday Night Ops "Northeastern Corridor" event; but, I think it counts:

NY_RBR_APP: DAL2526, don't be afraid now; there's traffic at your 11 o'clock, he is six miles turning northeastbound, a heavy Boeing 747 at 6000. He is British; no factor. You can give me a right turn to head (couldn't hear the rest over my own laughter)

Cheers,

-R.

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Gave the (text) pilot his flightplan clearance. He never responds with the readback. He proceeds to suddenly pushback. He finally stops a minute after I asked him to stop immediately (there was other traffic pushing next to him) and said he didn't even read back his flightplan clearance.

 

Around 10 minutes later (still in the pushed position, half-blocking the taxiway) he asks for another pushback and then this happened:

 

Os0AXPz.png

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ACCNL5 (Assistant Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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  • 1 month later...

Airliner: Lisbon Tower Hello!

Me: Airliner, Lisbon Tower Good Evening.

Airliner: Hello.

 

(at this point i had no visual of him on the radar)

 

10 minutes later...

 

Airliner: Lisbon radio check, airliner

Me: Read you 5

Airliner: Roger , Hello.

 

No further contact from there foward...

 

(I've come to find out he wasnt filed for the airport i was in)

Portugal vACC

Tower Controller | S2

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

From the Ugandan Knuckles event at HUEN...

55adcdca2ac47ff35f8e4ee65c83f65d-png.jpg

Memes were had.

 

Also, this is old, but...

...On CTP at LON_S_CTR:

London Control, good evening BAWXXX with you FL4000.

after 15 seconds laughing...

Station calling London, say again.

here comes the pilot, 150% confident of himself...

BAWXXX with you, FL4000.

another 15 seconds laughing...

That sounds suspiciously like something that happened on a stream of Matt Davies controlling LON_CTR (not on CTP either). Same dialogue too, to a tee.

 

You sure that anecdote's yours, Nestor?

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From the Ugandan Knuckles event at HUEN...

55adcdca2ac47ff35f8e4ee65c83f65d-png.jpg

Memes were had.

 

Also, this is old, but...

...On CTP at LON_S_CTR:

London Control, good evening BAWXXX with you FL4000.

after 15 seconds laughing...

Station calling London, say again.

here comes the pilot, 150% confident of himself...

BAWXXX with you, FL4000.

another 15 seconds laughing...

That sounds suspiciously like something that happened on a stream of Matt Davies controlling LON_CTR (not on CTP either). Same dialogue too, to a tee.

 

You sure that anecdote's yours, Nestor?

 

Nope, not mine. But still funny and still heard it

Néstor Pérez
A Random Platypus
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  • 4 weeks later...

Had this conversation a couple weeks ago via text.

 

Aircraft: Lisboa Approach, good evening, (...), requesting clearance to Porto.

LPPT_APP: Good evening, cleared to Porto (...), squawk 4762.

Aircraft: Cleared to Porto (...), squawk 4760.

LPPT_APP: Squawk 4762.

Aircraft: Squawk 4760

LPPT_APP: Squawk 4762.

Aircraft: Squawk 4662 sorry

LPPT_APP: Almost. 4762.

Aircraft: Squawk 4762.

LPPT_APP: Readback correct.

 

Not sure what was happening.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Today flying:

 

United asks why he is on a certain heading...

 

MIA_CTR: UALXXX, you're on the heading because you were way too high and I need to descend you.

MIA_CTR: UALXXX, turn left

MIA_CTR: UALXXX, Turn left heading 270.

UALXXX: Given there is no traffic around me to cause this vectoring. I will continue offline thanks

 

Well alrighty then..

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