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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


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"Tower, g'day, Clipper 811, international car park level 3 bay 14, request taxi" During a quiet evening on Sydney Tower.

It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

Huh,

I thought it was standard too to set it up like that. The flying club I fly with has that setup part included in our start up guide for FSInn.

I find it very handy, as I am not good at all being able to type and fly fast enough. I usually end up in the dirt when I am trying to type too much via chat when flying.

 

I have no idea how you ATC guys can talk to pilots, Talk to other controllers, type to pilots, and still awareness for whats going on in your coverage area...Hands down you guys got the multitask award.....

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if you are using FSINN, it will join it on its own (this was not a feature meant to go live on VATSIM, was meant for another network) squawkbox however will not, neither will Xsquawkbox. remember text is always primary comms. you can use voice but only as secondary, you still would need to repeat on text to be sure itd reach everyone around you, otherwise just wasted breath. would be just as good as not transmitting anything

 

go here for more detailed answer

viewtopic.php?f=84&t=38243

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not on its own, you have to force it to join the unicom voice channel, that is [Mod - Happy Thoughts]uming you have the correct voice server, they arent linked. so you can be on rw.liveatc.net/unicom while someone else is on rw.bostonartcc.net/unicom and you both wont hear each other

 

He said quick info for people with SB. So yes, FSInn does join on its own which is what the poster was suggesting.

 

PS, CoC says to monitor UNICOM.. so if he opts to use voice only, then he still isn't violating the CoC so long as he actively monitors text on UNICOM. Personally, I don't have the ability to type and fly at the same time because I opt to not let the auto pilot do anything on my approaches... so if I can, I'll bump and announce over voice while utilizing TCAS, FSInn Radar, chat box and windows to keep an eye out for other aircraft.

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  • 2 weeks later...

New one!

 

Airplane approaching my airspace, speed 2641kts FL450 and climbing to FL700.

 

flightplan EGKK direct EGPH FL700 tas3870.....

 

.contactme

 

"plane": Hello sir

ATC: hello, slow down Mach .95, intentions?

"plane": learning to fly prototype rocket plane, intentions good.

ATC: OK, never mind, freq change approaved.........

 

 

Why, why on VATSIM......

 

Erik

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just a few days ago I had a traffic who did not contact me and knowing he is going to mess up I did not send him a contactme as there was no conflicting traffic and he was going to be in my airspace a short time...

 

a minute or two later I saw his cs on my list which shows people connected to my freq. The good old pilot started playing some songs on the freq ) just what I needed

Best Regards,

Burak Bugday - 983451

Turkish vACC Deputy Director

 

 

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a minute or two later I saw his cs on my list which shows people connected to my freq. The good old pilot started playing some songs on the freq ) just what I needed

 

Off topic, but I was just curious about this, as I didn't realize controllers could see who was on their freq - does this only apply if you are tuned in on your active com or also if you're just listening in on com 2 as well?

 

Also, I love this thread, great stories, haha.

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does this only apply if you are tuned in on your active com or also if you're just listening in on com 2 as well?

 

Either one ... also applies if you're using "private voice" to tune in an ATC voice channel. Basically, it's a list of any connections to the voice channel, regardless of how that connection was made.

 

Note that text comms are different ... controllers cannot see who is on their frequency via text. Not even the server knows what text frequencies you're monitoring. All text transmissions are sent to all pilots in range, and it's up to the pilot client to display the text message or not. (Sort of like how real radio works.) (Kind of ironic how our text radio system works more like real radio than our voice radio system does. )

Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy

Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC

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Hi all,

 

I thought I'd post some. Perhaps already posted but here you go:

 

..."switching to silence 122.80."

..."monitor dead frequency 122.80."

..."request to date the cockpit?" (turns out wanted to leave the flight deck for 20 minutes...)

 

Perhaps one which I nearly fell out of my chair was:

 

... "RWY 25L divorced, request taxi to gate"

David Lee

Timezone | GMT +8

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I log on to Kennedy tower and there is an aircraft at the end of the departure runway with a bad flight plan who hadn't talked to approach (who was online before me). Approach pings him and then sends him to me. I haggle with him and offer him a simple change that gets him out over one of our exit gates and then direct the first fix on his flight plan. Hi response is, and I quote:

 

sirt this is a real world flightplan and we cant wait any longer because of fuel wise

 

and then promptly disconnects...

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I log on to Kennedy tower and there is an aircraft at the end of the departure runway with a bad flight plan who hadn't talked to approach (who was online before me). Approach pings him and then sends him to me. I haggle with him and offer him a simple change that gets him out over one of our exit gates and then direct the first fix on his flight plan. Hi response is, and I quote:

 

sirt this is a real world flightplan and we cant wait any longer because of fuel wise

 

and then promptly disconnects...

It's a whole world out there…

Alistair Thomson

===

Definition: a gentleman is a flying instructor in a Piper Cherokee who can change tanks without getting his face slapped.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've got a couple, one of which I'm sure a few VATSIM controllers have nearly done.

 

1. This is a real world incident (as I believe you could say) this actually went on over the air at TNCM Princess Juliana airport, sometime around DEC 28.

 

TNCM: WWDXXX, runway 10 at Charlie, line up and wait.

WWDXXX: Line up and wait, Windward XXX (An islander)

Some other traffic handling, about 1 min.

AALYYY: Juliana tower, AALYYY Holding short 10 at Alpha.

TNCM: AALYYY, Runway 10 at Alpha, line up.

AALYYY: Line up 10, AALYYY.

(One more traffic, I believe a Twin Otter executing a left orbit)

TNCM: AALYYY, Cleared takeoff 10, 100 at 13.

WWDXXX: (Almost stepping on TNCM) Uh, Juliana, WWDXXX?

TNCM: AALYYY, Cancel takeoff clearance, Break break, WWDXXX, cleared takeoff 10 no delay, 100 at 13.

WWDXXX: Cleared takeoff, WWDXXX.

Unknown: That was close.

 

(Note, at this point I stopped tracking this, as I was gobsmacked that Juliana almost launched a 767 through an islander...)

 

Here's my VATSIM one. I'm the Aircraft in this.

LBB337: Lubbock approach, Cotton 337 with you, p[Mod - Happy Thoughts]ing through 11,000 for 7,000 (coming in off an uncontrolled CTR), over PVW VOR.

LBB_APP: Cotton 337, Lubbock approach, radar contact over the PVW VOR, decend and maintain 5,000 vectors for the visual rwy 26 approach, altimeter 29.87.

(Note: Winds 24012)

LBB337: Copy radar contact, and unable RWY 26, it's being resurfaced IRL. Request ILS 17R from PVW.

LBB_APP: Rwy 8-26 is closed IRL?

LBB337: I should know. I'm paying for it!

LBB_APP: Rgr, cleared ILS 17R from PVW, report POLLO.

LBB337: Wilco.

LBB222 (VA Buddy): So that's what I hit during takeoff.

 

 

Not the world's funniest but yeah.

 

Side poll: What's your policy on closing rwys if they're closed IRL, both from a pilot's and controller's perspective?

 

(IRL, the ILS 17R is Glidesope INOP, and rwy 8 is the only other precision rwy, so LBB is without precision approach right now... we had fog before XMas, and SWA couldn't land XD)

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Side poll: What's your policy on closing rwys if they're closed IRL, both from a pilot's and controller's perspective?

 

I leave it up to my guys to simulate as they would like. If the runway is closed, then I'll [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ign a different runway to the pilot, but if the pilot requests, I'll give it them.

Ryan Geckler - GK | Former VATUSA3 - Division Training Manager

VATSIM Minneapolis ARTCC | FAA Miami ARTCC 

Cross the Pond Planning Team

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