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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.

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It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

A usual occurence on Heathrow, slightly worrying some members can't seem to operate a comp[Mod - Happy Thoughts]   ATC: BAW123, Push and start approved, face North. Pilot: Push approved, face Nor

no download leg on the overhead i would [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ume he had already done the break, altho just an [Mod - Happy Thoughts]umption from the call made i dont think thats normal for Honolulu even tho it does have a military area


to add to Dans explanation



Nah, they do overhead breaks when the 8s are active sometimes depending on traffic. If it's busy enough they most likely try to shy away from it. But you'd be surprised at what can happen with the right controllers.

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Here's one from my time at OJAC_CTR. Note that airport elevation is 2500 for OJAI.


OJAC_CTR: MSRXXX, descend and maintain 5,000, fly present heading, cleared ILS Runway 26L.

MSRXXX: Sir, request descent to 2,000. I can't intercept at 5,000, it's too high.

OJAC_CTR: MSRXXX, airport elevation 2,500.


OJAC_CTR: Sir, the airport's elevation is 2,500 feet. You can try to descend to 2,000, but I wouldn't do it!


... one minute pause as the aircraft continues on the approach ...


MSRXXX: HOLY [Mod - lovely stuff]! You mean the airport's on a mountain?!

OJAC_CTR: ... MSRXXX, Contact Tower on 119.800, good luck.


Good times!


Mahmoud A. Fadli - 819693

Deputy Region Director

VATSIM Africa & Middle East Region


"Strength in Diversity"

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My guess would be it is more a matter of traffic or workload rather than the airport. Same theory as the restriction of VFR aircraft in the pattern at those airports. It is not that they can't do it they just are typically busy with other traffic in the arrival or departure sequence.

The above pertains to United States



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Thanks to all the people who explained what an overhead approach is. Sounds like it would be 'interesting' to attempt in a C17, but I suppose if you take your turning circle large enough it would work.

And that's fine as far as it goes. But there is also the overhead join, used mainly in VFR when a pilot is approaching a field with no currently active ATC. The procedure is to cross the midfield at 2000ft AGL from whatever direction you are coming from, "ascertain" the pattern direction (normally lefthand, but the signal square will define that, if there is one, in the absence of which [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ume lefthand. The reason you cross initially at midfield is so that you can scope out the signal square, if there is one). Then descend on the dead side (which may mean re-tracing your route at 2000'AGL until you are on the dead side before descending, making all turns in the circuit direction) to circuit height, and once again overfly the runway, above the upwind end this time, keeping a good lookout for departing traffic, and turn downwind at a suitable distance depending on your type. During this, make standard radio calls.


Oh wait. This is VATSIM. So don't make standard calls on the published ATC frequency at all. Instead, monitor Unicom, like everyone else is doing as per the Requirement.


Oh, wait. VATSIM does not require you to type anything (transmit) while on Unicom, so if we all do that, we're all listening to, er, nothing. Well, that's helpful.

Alistair Thomson


Definition: a gentleman is a flying instructor in a Piper Cherokee who can change tanks without getting his face slapped.

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Oh, wait. VATSIM does not require you to type anything (transmit) while on Unicom, so if we all do that, we're all listening to, er, nothing. Well, that's helpful.


VFR... see and avoid. If you have FSInn, use its radar. Just gotta look around.

You can do that without Unicom…

Alistair Thomson


Definition: a gentleman is a flying instructor in a Piper Cherokee who can change tanks without getting his face slapped.

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Myself manning Copenhagen Approach (EKCH_APP), ESOS_CTR just in the middle of a controller change, so the pilot departing EKCH had to stay at FL190 and on my freq. until the change was completed:


EKCH_APP: Due to controller change in Sweden, maintain FL190 and expect further climb in a few minutes

Pilot: No sweat, baby


Not quite the readback I expected

Claus Hemberg Joergensen
Vatsim Membership Manager - Americas


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...............Start to be concerned when they refer to you as either Honey or Darling.


A few weeks ago:

ATC: Call sign, say present position

PILOT: Present position

ATC: Call sign, what is your present position

PILOT: Inbound to you sir, I request landing


David James

VATSIM Screenshot Contest Coordinator

Intel Core 2 Quad CPU Q6600 2.4gig, RAM 3.25gig, ATI Radeon HD4800, XP Pro SP3, FS9.1 FSnav FSinn VRC


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Heh, reminds me of one I had during CTP a couple of months ago....


BOS_CTR: "Callsign, say flight level."

PILOT: "Flight level"

BOS_CTR: "Heh, OK, Callsign, say "'Ready to copy holding instructions'"

PILOT: "Flight Level 240"

BOS_CTR: <has another slug of Jack D>

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Membership

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I had very interesting dialog with a vpilot when controlling at Bucharest Approach about 2 months ago...


Pilot : good evening approach ready to taxi


(as he was still parked at the gate)

LROP_APP: xxxx, confirm requesting taxi as far as I see you are still parked at gate A2.


Pilot: Affirm, requesting taxi


LROP_APP: taxi holding point 26R via L,S,N, O


Pilot: taxiing to holding point 26R via Lima, Sierra, Nancy and October


LROP_APP: Lima sierra november oscar to hp 26R


pilot: roger, Nancy sounded better and believe me she's hot! lima sierra north pole and october to 26R


LROP_APP: advise ready to copy atc clearance


pilot: whats clearance?


LROP_APP: (trying to explain as simple as possible) your permission to fly


pilot: I dont need to ask for permission from you to fly I can fly when ever I want


he disconnects

Best Regards,

Burak Bugday - 983451

Turkish vACC Deputy Director



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Me: "xxx turn right heading 360."

Pilot: "right 360" a little over a minute later he finally starts to turn


Me: "xxx 10 from JALTO, tun left heading 300, maintain 3000 til established, cleared ILS 27R app''

Pilot: "uh roger, left 300, cleared ILS app." Again takes a minute to initiate turn, when he does turn his bank angle is about 5° and blows right through the localizer


Pilot: "Uh sir, we just went right through the localizer, you really suck at this."


At this point an unidentified pilot came across the frequency and said,


"xxx maybe it's you that sucks!"

John Muenster (MR) - Minneapolis ARTCC

Unless expressly written, my comments in no way reflect the opinions of any ARTCC I am affiliated with, they are personal opinions only.

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