Ross Carlson Posted March 3, 2012 at 03:42 PM Posted March 3, 2012 at 03:42 PM During FNO last night: Pilot: clr to land 4R, many tanks. BOS_TWR: SWA511, can never have enough tanks Pilot: exactly Pilot: M1A2/Q Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johan Grauers Posted March 4, 2012 at 08:31 PM Posted March 4, 2012 at 08:31 PM I was flying, but I think it qualifies anyway EGPX: BER6RH Tweed1a arrival runway 24 BER: Tweed1a runway 34 EGPX: Negative, runway 24. BER: roger runway 24. BAW4DF (now guess who this may have been ): Scottish hello BAW4DF, we would like runway 34 if you can build one for us please EGPX: BAW4DF Tweed1A for runway 24, erhm, I'll get back to you with the request I don't think I was the only one laughing Johan Grauers Event Coordinator - vACC Scandinavia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wycliffe Barrett Posted March 5, 2012 at 09:13 AM Posted March 5, 2012 at 09:13 AM Last night this tale of woe was told to me by a fellow controller whilst we where both controlling at the time adjacently ATC, Sir taxi to Holding point Juliet and hold, aircraft inbound. Pilot, "What! are you nuts" The pilot then promptly took off from the taxi way, and proceeded to slew through his airspace then mine in an attempt to catch up with his buddy out in the Bristol Channel. My colleague dot wallloped him and when he explained to the sup what had happened the sup came back with, "hmmm he's not slewing now" I think both qualify as rather funny. Wycliffe Wycliffe Barrett: C3 Controller "if god meant for us to fly, he would have given us tickets" Mel Brooks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Yang Posted July 28, 2013 at 02:46 PM Posted July 28, 2013 at 02:46 PM Pilot: "Delta XXX requesting SELCAL check." Center: "You're requesting a WHAT check?" New York Approach: "Turn left heading 180, stop your climb at 3,000." Pilot: "Turn left heading 180." New York Approach: "Stop your climb at 3,000 unless you want to make a new airline with United." On Unicom: United pilot: "What does the callsign stand for?" Me: "Air Kevin 124 heavy." Delta pilot: "You're that Air Kevin guy." Captain Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernesto Alvarez 818262 Posted July 28, 2013 at 02:57 PM Posted July 28, 2013 at 02:57 PM i thought id never hear it, but this actually happened in the real world at my home airport (KTMB) last week. forgot the aircrafts tail number though, was definitely one of the foreign students at one of the flight schools lol. Tamiami Tower: N12345 say heading N12345: heading silence goes over the radio for a few lol then when tower calls again you can hear the other controllers laughing in the background lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samuel Mason Posted July 28, 2013 at 03:24 PM Posted July 28, 2013 at 03:24 PM i thought id never hear it, but this actually happened in the real world at my home airport (KTMB) last week. forgot the aircrafts tail number though, was definitely one of the foreign students at one of the flight schools lol. Tamiami Tower: N12345 say heading N12345: heading silence goes over the radio for a few lol then when tower calls again you can hear the other controllers laughing in the background lol OMG i almost wet myself when i saw that LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Merle Posted August 1, 2013 at 05:27 PM Posted August 1, 2013 at 05:27 PM Not hilarious, but made me smile : CTR : "Turn right heading 3 3 0, descend 5000 thousand ft, QNH 1019" Pilot : "OK, right heading 3 3 0, descending 5000 thousand ft, squawk 1019" I wasn't expecting this here... Thomas Merle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charan Kumar Posted August 1, 2013 at 07:45 PM Posted August 1, 2013 at 07:45 PM And you should wait until the pilot tries to actually set the xpdr to 1019 When is your next Flight||VATSIM HitSquad Member, ZOA/ZAK/GANDER/P1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Yang Posted August 1, 2013 at 09:40 PM Posted August 1, 2013 at 09:40 PM Heard somebody sneeze on the frequency once. Not really sure how often that happens. Captain Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Yang Posted August 3, 2013 at 10:08 PM Posted August 3, 2013 at 10:08 PM American: "American XXX is lined up on runway 22 right." ATC: "American XXX, caution wake turbulence departing Boeing 747, fly runway heading, runway 22 right, cleared for take-off." A minute and a half later.... American: "American XXX is lined up on runway 22 right." ATC: "American XXX, after departure, fly runway heading, runway 22 right, cleared for take-off." Fifteen seconds later.... Me: "He can't be serious." Chautauqua: "Yeah, I don't see him moving." A minute later.... American: "American XXX is still lined up on runway 22 right." ATC: "You're cleared for take-off, sir. Fly runway heading after departure." Captain Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Yang Posted August 6, 2013 at 11:05 PM Posted August 6, 2013 at 11:05 PM New York Approach: "United XXX, you're too high, you might want to go around and try again." United: "Can we try to make the approach?" New York Approach: "If you do, it'll be suicide. I'd go around and try again if I were you." Captain Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernesto Alvarez 818262 Posted August 6, 2013 at 11:09 PM Posted August 6, 2013 at 11:09 PM errr whos the PIC? pretty sure theyd make that call Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johan Grauers Posted August 7, 2013 at 12:51 PM Posted August 7, 2013 at 12:51 PM To an extent, RW if we consider an aircraft is "dangerously positioned on the approach" we have to instruct them to go around. Also if the monitoring systems used to monitor the approach gives certain types of warning we have to issue a go around instruction. Normally this would apply to aircraft below the correct approach path, but in theory I think it could be applied to very high inbounds too. Realistically do what I do is ask the pilot "are you happy to continue this approach" and if they say yes then they can continue. Johan Grauers Event Coordinator - vACC Scandinavia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernesto Alvarez 818262 Posted August 7, 2013 at 01:11 PM Posted August 7, 2013 at 01:11 PM i agree with you there, if you challenge and they say they are ok, let them, who knows they may want to practice steep approaches or somethin (very fun btw! the first time i got to do it got me hooked on them lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Yang Posted August 7, 2013 at 01:28 PM Posted August 7, 2013 at 01:28 PM I guess that depends how close he was, too, as I wasn't near him, so I have no idea. It's possible that he was close enough that he wouldn't have made it down either way. Captain Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Heinrich 975294 Posted August 8, 2013 at 12:06 PM Posted August 8, 2013 at 12:06 PM Pilot: "Delta XXX requesting SELCAL check."Center: "You're requesting a WHAT check?" New York Approach: "Turn left heading 180, stop your climb at 3,000." Pilot: "Turn left heading 180." New York Approach: "Stop your climb at 3,000 unless you want to make a new airline with United."" Was he flying continental? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Yang Posted August 8, 2013 at 09:09 PM Posted August 8, 2013 at 09:09 PM Pilot: "Delta XXX requesting SELCAL check."Center: "You're requesting a WHAT check?" New York Approach: "Turn left heading 180, stop your climb at 3,000." Pilot: "Turn left heading 180." New York Approach: "Stop your climb at 3,000 unless you want to make a new airline with United."" Was he flying continental? I don't think so, although I don't remember which airline he was flying. I think it might have been Delta. That one was from a while ago, but got lost when the forum was reverted to the backup from last year, so I reposted it as best as I could remember it. Captain Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Heinrich 975294 Posted August 8, 2013 at 11:22 PM Posted August 8, 2013 at 11:22 PM Pilot: "Delta XXX requesting SELCAL check."Center: "You're requesting a WHAT check?" New York Approach: "Turn left heading 180, stop your climb at 3,000." Pilot: "Turn left heading 180." New York Approach: "Stop your climb at 3,000 unless you want to make a new airline with United."" Was he flying continental? I don't think so, although I don't remember which airline he was flying. I think it might have been Delta. That one was from a while ago, but got lost when the forum was reverted to the backup from last year, so I reposted it as best as I could remember it. Lol i was trying to make a united/continental merger joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Han Cui 1193569 Posted August 9, 2013 at 07:38 AM Posted August 9, 2013 at 07:38 AM Me: You are leaving my airspace and no further ATC available. Resume own navigation, change freq to UNICOM. Have a good flight and landing. Bye. Pilot: Thank you Pilot: Where is UNICOM？ Me: UNICOM 122.8, bye Pilot: Contect 122.8? Me: Confirm Pilot: Confirm what? Me: You can contact UNICOM 122.8 Pilot: What is 122.8? Pilot: XXXXX tower? Me: UNICOM 122.8, bye Pilot: thank you, contact 122.8 Han Cui (1193569) Senior Controller (C3) & VATSIM Online Pilot (P1) VATPRC Deputy Director (VATPRC2) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Board of Governors Don Desfosse Posted August 9, 2013 at 01:26 PM Board of Governors Posted August 9, 2013 at 01:26 PM A few gems from last night.... Apparently I sat down and started controlling during an Amateur Night event, and I didn't even see it posted! Pilot: Boston Center, I'm with you. BOS_CTR: I'm glad we're on the same page; I feel better now. The only issue is that I control over 165,000 square miles of airspace. How about another clue.... Pilot (not the same one!): Boston, I'd like to taxi. BOS_CTR: Super! I've got 128 airports in my airspace. Which one of those are you at this evening? Pilot: Sir, where is my push to talk button? BOS_CTR: Well... I'd say you're pressing it right now to talk to me! Pilot (on the ground at KJFK, not in Boston's airspace): Can you give me a taxi over? BOS_CTR: You want me to call you a cab? Pilot (another one on the ground at KJFK, a different one than the previous, about 1.5 hours later!): Hello, I'd like a taxi to Boston. BOS_CTR: Um, OK, sir. Your best bet is to go down to the sidewalk, hold one hand out while simultaneously whistling really loud with the other hand. And, you'd better have a lot of cash! Suggest you contact Kennedy Tower on 119.1. [5 minutes later I get advised by JFK_TWR that a NORDO just departed without clearance headed my way.... Guess who!] Don Desfosse Vice President, Operations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marko Milivojevic 1263557 Posted August 9, 2013 at 02:35 PM Posted August 9, 2013 at 02:35 PM When I first talked on VATSIM as a pilot and made silly mistakes, controller in a very busy tower took his time to explain to me what I did wrong and made no fun of my mistakes. Had he responded the way you did, I'd probably not fly on VATSIM. Prior to big forum bang I even started a topic to thank everyone how helpful they were. Just sayin' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Board of Governors Don Desfosse Posted August 9, 2013 at 04:20 PM Board of Governors Posted August 9, 2013 at 04:20 PM Ah, Marko, I do understand. These are just small snippets from a long controlling session last night. I, of course, was as helpful as possible to the folks. Those who know me will vouch for the fact that I try to help and teach every time I am on VATSIM. I even remarked several times, no problem, I was new once too. Taken out of context, I see how these could seem mean, but in totality, they were hopefully quick quips to keep the energy and levity high while also attempting to [Mod - Happy Thoughts]ist folks. I apologize for the lack of context, and appreciate your point of view. Don Desfosse Vice President, Operations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johan Grauers Posted August 9, 2013 at 05:43 PM Posted August 9, 2013 at 05:43 PM Me: You are leaving my airspace and no further ATC available. Resume own navigation, change freq to UNICOM. Have a good flight and landing. Bye. Pilot: Thank you Pilot: Where is UNICOM？ Me: UNICOM 122.8, bye Pilot: Contect 122.8? Me: Confirm Pilot: Confirm what? Me: You can contact UNICOM 122.8 Pilot: What is 122.8? Pilot: XXXXX tower? Me: UNICOM 122.8, bye Pilot: thank you, contact 122.8 Why the answer "confirm"? Confirm means "I request verification of: (clearance, instruction, action, information)". If you want to answer in a positive (ie "yes) then the word is "affirm", or for a "no" it's "negative". I'd be very confused if I got the answer "confirm" to a question. Then again, in that case it probably didn't matter But being the pedantic person I felt I should point it out Johan Grauers Event Coordinator - vACC Scandinavia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Yang Posted August 9, 2013 at 06:50 PM Posted August 9, 2013 at 06:50 PM Center: "Air Force One, descend and maintain 8,000." Air Force One: "Descend and maintain flight level 8,000, Air Force One. Approach: "American 620, cross runway 22 right, taxi to the ramp." American: "Cross 22 right, taxi to the ramp, American 620." Air Force One: "Tower, Air Force One, somebody's crossing our runway, we're going to collide." Approach: "Air Force One, go around, you're lined up for runway 22 right, you were supposed to land on runway 22 left." Captain Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhruv Kalra Posted August 9, 2013 at 09:48 PM Posted August 9, 2013 at 09:48 PM A few gems from last night.... Apparently I sat down and started controlling during an Amateur Night event, and I didn't even see it posted! Pilot: Boston Center, I'm with you. BOS_CTR: I'm glad we're on the same page; I feel better now. The only issue is that I control over 165,000 square miles of airspace. How about another clue.... Pilot (not the same one!): Boston, I'd like to taxi. BOS_CTR: Super! I've got 128 airports in my airspace. Which one of those are you at this evening? Pilot: Sir, where is my push to talk button? BOS_CTR: Well... I'd say you're pressing it right now to talk to me! Pilot (on the ground at KJFK, not in Boston's airspace): Can you give me a taxi over? BOS_CTR: You want me to call you a cab? Pilot (another one on the ground at KJFK, a different one than the previous, about 1.5 hours later!): Hello, I'd like a taxi to Boston. BOS_CTR: Um, OK, sir. Your best bet is to go down to the sidewalk, hold one hand out while simultaneously whistling really loud with the other hand. And, you'd better have a lot of cash! Suggest you contact Kennedy Tower on 119.1. [5 minutes later I get advised by JFK_TWR that a NORDO just departed without clearance headed my way.... Guess who!] And in the middle of all that you had some moron in a CRJ deviating for storms over SYR minding his own business flying into BOS as unobtrusively as he could. The nerve of some people! Dhruv Kalra VATUSA ZMP ATM | Instructor | VATSIM Network Supervisor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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