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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


Jake Sims 1158411
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Don Desfosse
Posted
Posted

I'm still waiting for the day when that happens to me, so I can say "N1234, say Cancel IFR"

I've done that a few times over the years and, funny, no one ever does....

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Operations

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Matthew McEwen

"Tower, g'day, Clipper 811, international car park level 3 bay 14, request taxi" During a quiet evening on Sydney Tower.

Dace Nicmane

It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

Luka Stevens

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

Daniel  Channani 1180095
Posted
Posted

Was working MIA CTR told a guy a heading and told him to fly Direct HEDLY. On the way to HEDLY around FL230 he says.

 

ABC123: Request heading 270

Me: Sir if you turn 270 you will be turning away from the course.

ABC123: Sir we want 270 to intercept the LOC.

At this time i giggled but understood what he meant.

Me: Proceed as requested.

(Moments later)

ABC123: We captured the LOC

Me:

KrMNgHf.png

Daniel Channani

ZMA EC

[email protected]

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Davor Kusec 990407
Posted
Posted
Well I hope he does, since the controller said "radar contact". The only thing that's missing now is the Mode C Level check so all the controller has to do is ignore the readout and ask the pilot to "report reaching".

 

I don't see the words "radar contact" in that quote. Maybe we're talking about different posts?

Davor Kusec

Air Traffic Director | Northeast Region VATUSA

Supervisor | VATSIM

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Bradford Lee
Posted
Posted

He's talking about the "say altitude" exchange here:

 

viewtopic.php?p=456234#p456234

Brad Lee

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ZJX ARTCC

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Ross Carlson
Posted
Posted
Well I hope he does, since the controller said "radar contact". The only thing that's missing now is the Mode C Level check so all the controller has to do is ignore the readout and ask the pilot to "report reaching".

 

I don't see the words "radar contact" in that quote. Maybe we're talking about different posts?

 

Have another look ... they are the first two words said by the controller in the post you quoted.

 

Not that we need to be picking on such things in a thread about humorous exchanges ...

Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy

Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC

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Kevin Yang
Posted
Posted

I can do you one even better and post the recording if you really want me to do that.

Captain Kevin

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Davor Kusec 990407
Posted
Posted

I'm going back into my hole! See ya later!

Don't go through the forums and try to nitpick if you have worked long hours on little sleep

Davor Kusec

Air Traffic Director | Northeast Region VATUSA

Supervisor | VATSIM

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James Anthony
Posted
Posted

Had this happen a few days ago while on final into IAH

 

ME: TWR AALXXX ILS 15R

TWR: AALXXX Cleared to Land 15R, call the ball.

ME: *Laughter* Rgr, we'll call the ball, btw you got the from the Philly TWR Video didn't you?

TWR: Yep, being meaning to use it...

ME: I dont see how IAH works , no water near the airport..

TWR: Let's just say i put some...

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  • 3 weeks later...
Kevin Yang
Posted
Posted
ATC: "Radar contact, say altitude."

Me: "Altitude."

ATC: "Okay....altitude back to you....climb and maintain 7,000."

Me: "Climb and maintain 7,000."

ATC: "I was waiting for the day when that actually happened. Congratulations. You won."

Me: "Thank you."

And so it continues after a long day:

 

ATC: "Radar contact, say altitude."

Me: "Altitude is 3,000."

ATC: "Say altitude."

Me: "3,500 now."

ATC: "No, you were supposed to actually say altitude. Anyway, radar contact."

Captain Kevin

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Kevin Yang
Posted
Posted

ATC: "JetBlue 78, contact New York Center 125.32. Moca hagoti."

JetBlue: "All right, going over to New York Center."

Me: "We're in New York, not Boston, just saying."

ATC: "Boston John left, so now I take the status."

Me: "Oh, bloody hell...."

Captain Kevin

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James Anthony
Posted
Posted
ATC: "JetBlue 78, contact New York Center 125.32. Moca hagoti."

JetBlue: "All right, going over to New York Center."

Me: "We're in New York, not Boston, just saying."

ATC: "Boston John left, so now I take the status."

Me: "Oh, bloody hell...."

He still works in ATC, down in San Juan, I belive....

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  • Board of Governors
Don Desfosse
Posted
Posted

Yep, John is the Air Traffic Manager of the San Juan ATCT.

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Operations

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  • 2 weeks later...
Erik Wachters
Posted
Posted

5min ago........

 

ATC: ABC, proceed direct DIK vor, freq 114.4.

ABC: Rgr

ATC: After DIK proceed direct GTQ vor, freq 111.25.

ABC: rgr, remind me after I p[Mod - Happy Thoughts]ed DIK pls.

ATC: Are you able to use your VOR receivers?

ABC: Negative.......

ATC: rgr, How are you navigating?

ABC: OK I guess......

ATC: OK, proceed on your onw navigation.

ABC: rgr, Have I been directed to Cyprus? or am I still landing at my filled airport?

ATC: I don't know what kind of navigation you use. Proceed on your discretion to your destination.

ABC: rgr

(plane turns right, direct to his destination)

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Board of Governors
Don Desfosse
Posted
Posted

This one from a Fedex B777, having departed KBOS for KMEM, pretty much over JFK...

 

FDX1273: Boston Center, Fedex 1273 Heavy, we'd like to return to Boston. We forgot our cargo.

 

 

I haven't laughed that hard controlling on VATSIM in a while!

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Operations

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Kevin Yang
Posted
Posted
This one from a Fedex B777, having departed KBOS for KMEM, pretty much over JFK...

 

FDX1273: Boston Center, Fedex 1273 Heavy, we'd like to return to Boston. We forgot our cargo.

 

 

I haven't laughed that hard controlling on VATSIM in a while!

So he didn't notice that he got to his cruise altitude that much quicker?

Captain Kevin

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Dhruv Kalra
Posted
Posted

DAL721: UAL 861 traffic alert , DAL721 is also descending into ORD via the BULLZ6 will keep my eye open for you

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you're still transmitting MSP_CTR

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you might want to switch to UNICOM

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, also, you're 80 miles ahead of that UAL flight, so I really don't think he's going to be a factor

Dhruv Kalra

VATUSA ZMP ATM | Instructor | VATSIM Network Supervisor

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Darrol Larrok 1140797
Posted
Posted

Hey, at least the effort was made

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Andrew Doubleday
Posted
Posted
DAL721: UAL 861 traffic alert , DAL721 is also descending into ORD via the BULLZ6 will keep my eye open for you

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you're still transmitting MSP_CTR

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you might want to switch to UNICOM

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, also, you're 80 miles ahead of that UAL flight, so I really don't think he's going to be a factor

 

Sounds like an MSP "A1" CTR violation for "controlling too realistically".

Andrew James Doubleday | Twitch Stream: Ground_Point_Niner

University of North Dakota | FAA Air Traffic Collegiate Training Initiative (AT-CTI) GraduateGPN_Horizontal_-_Tertiary.thumb.png.9d7edc4d985ab7ed1dc60b92a5dfa85c.png

 

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Greg Barber
Posted
Posted

Aircraft contacts approach p[Mod - Happy Thoughts]ing 15,000ft [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned 10,000ft.

 

"Approach good evening, XXX123 climbing....err....downward.... to 10,000."

Greg Barber

VATPAC3 - Director ATC Training & Standards

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James Anthony
Posted
Posted
DAL721: UAL 861 traffic alert , DAL721 is also descending into ORD via the BULLZ6 will keep my eye open for you

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you're still transmitting MSP_CTR

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you might want to switch to UNICOM

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, also, you're 80 miles ahead of that UAL flight, so I really don't think he's going to be a factor

 

Sounds like an MSP "A1" CTR violation for "controlling too realistically".

+1

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Ernesto Alvarez 818262
Posted
Posted

this just happened to me, yea sometimes you gotta make fun of yourself

 

COMM1> LOCAL : eve ctr 160nm SE LEV FL380

 

no response, sounds busy so i wait a few minutes

 

COMM1> LOCAL : 115 lev fl380

COMM1> ATL_1_CTR : AAL2475, say location?

COMM1> LOCAL : now 110 E LEV VOR

COMM1> ATL_1_CTR : AAL2475, contact houston center on 126.950

COMM1> LOCAL : woops lol

COMM1> LOCAL : ty

COMM1> ATL_1_CTR : AAL2475, yw

 

 

on my way from MIA to Vegas. saw ATL and ZHU come up, tuned to monitor while in JAX airspace since they werent on, but i tuned the wrong freq lol

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Don Desfosse
Posted
Posted

Seen recently on ATC chat....

 

[ATC] Hold all handoffs, my mom's got to use the computer

[ATC] Someone needs to call the feds, we've got an unauthorized person in the control room

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Operations

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Ernesto Alvarez 818262
Posted
Posted

ABC123 due to parental control, hold southeast of DEF, expect further clearance at 1800Z, time now 1700Z

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  • 3 weeks later...
Wycliffe Barrett
Posted
Posted

This is a great one,

 

no Charts on board, I will be stepping away at times.

 

Awesome.

 

Wycliffe

Wycliffe Barrett: C3 Controller

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"if god meant for us to fly, he would have given us tickets" Mel Brooks

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  • 4 weeks later...
Steven Caffey
Posted
Posted

After issuing an IFR clearance over text:

 

repeat.png

Steven Caffey (SY) ZLA Controller

"A mile of highway gets you one mile, but a mile of runway can take you anywhere."

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