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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


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I'm still waiting for the day when that happens to me, so I can say "N1234, say Cancel IFR"

I've done that a few times over the years and, funny, no one ever does....

Don Desfosse
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It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

A usual occurence on Heathrow, slightly worrying some members can't seem to operate a comp[Mod - Happy Thoughts]   ATC: BAW123, Push and start approved, face North. Pilot: Push approved, face Nor

Was working MIA CTR told a guy a heading and told him to fly Direct HEDLY. On the way to HEDLY around FL230 he says.

 

ABC123: Request heading 270

Me: Sir if you turn 270 you will be turning away from the course.

ABC123: Sir we want 270 to intercept the LOC.

At this time i giggled but understood what he meant.

Me: Proceed as requested.

(Moments later)

ABC123: We captured the LOC

Me:

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Daniel Channani

ZMA EC

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Well I hope he does, since the controller said "radar contact". The only thing that's missing now is the Mode C Level check so all the controller has to do is ignore the readout and ask the pilot to "report reaching".

 

I don't see the words "radar contact" in that quote. Maybe we're talking about different posts?

Davor Kusec

Air Traffic Director | Northeast Region VATUSA

Supervisor | VATSIM

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Well I hope he does, since the controller said "radar contact". The only thing that's missing now is the Mode C Level check so all the controller has to do is ignore the readout and ask the pilot to "report reaching".

 

I don't see the words "radar contact" in that quote. Maybe we're talking about different posts?

 

Have another look ... they are the first two words said by the controller in the post you quoted.

 

Not that we need to be picking on such things in a thread about humorous exchanges ...

Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy

Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC

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Had this happen a few days ago while on final into IAH

 

ME: TWR AALXXX ILS 15R

TWR: AALXXX Cleared to Land 15R, call the ball.

ME: *Laughter* Rgr, we'll call the ball, btw you got the from the Philly TWR Video didn't you?

TWR: Yep, being meaning to use it...

ME: I dont see how IAH works , no water near the airport..

TWR: Let's just say i put some...

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  • 3 weeks later...
ATC: "Radar contact, say altitude."

Me: "Altitude."

ATC: "Okay....altitude back to you....climb and maintain 7,000."

Me: "Climb and maintain 7,000."

ATC: "I was waiting for the day when that actually happened. Congratulations. You won."

Me: "Thank you."

And so it continues after a long day:

 

ATC: "Radar contact, say altitude."

Me: "Altitude is 3,000."

ATC: "Say altitude."

Me: "3,500 now."

ATC: "No, you were supposed to actually say altitude. Anyway, radar contact."

Captain Kevin

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ATC: "JetBlue 78, contact New York Center 125.32. Moca hagoti."

JetBlue: "All right, going over to New York Center."

Me: "We're in New York, not Boston, just saying."

ATC: "Boston John left, so now I take the status."

Me: "Oh, bloody hell...."

Captain Kevin

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ATC: "JetBlue 78, contact New York Center 125.32. Moca hagoti."

JetBlue: "All right, going over to New York Center."

Me: "We're in New York, not Boston, just saying."

ATC: "Boston John left, so now I take the status."

Me: "Oh, bloody hell...."

He still works in ATC, down in San Juan, I belive....

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  • 2 weeks later...

5min ago........

 

ATC: ABC, proceed direct DIK vor, freq 114.4.

ABC: Rgr

ATC: After DIK proceed direct GTQ vor, freq 111.25.

ABC: rgr, remind me after I p[Mod - Happy Thoughts]ed DIK pls.

ATC: Are you able to use your VOR receivers?

ABC: Negative.......

ATC: rgr, How are you navigating?

ABC: OK I guess......

ATC: OK, proceed on your onw navigation.

ABC: rgr, Have I been directed to Cyprus? or am I still landing at my filled airport?

ATC: I don't know what kind of navigation you use. Proceed on your discretion to your destination.

ABC: rgr

(plane turns right, direct to his destination)

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  • 4 weeks later...
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This one from a Fedex B777, having departed KBOS for KMEM, pretty much over JFK...

 

FDX1273: Boston Center, Fedex 1273 Heavy, we'd like to return to Boston. We forgot our cargo.

 

 

I haven't laughed that hard controlling on VATSIM in a while!

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Membership

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This one from a Fedex B777, having departed KBOS for KMEM, pretty much over JFK...

 

FDX1273: Boston Center, Fedex 1273 Heavy, we'd like to return to Boston. We forgot our cargo.

 

 

I haven't laughed that hard controlling on VATSIM in a while!

So he didn't notice that he got to his cruise altitude that much quicker?

Captain Kevin

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DAL721: UAL 861 traffic alert , DAL721 is also descending into ORD via the BULLZ6 will keep my eye open for you

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you're still transmitting MSP_CTR

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you might want to switch to UNICOM

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, also, you're 80 miles ahead of that UAL flight, so I really don't think he's going to be a factor

Dhruv Kalra

VATUSA ZMP ATM | Instructor | VATSIM Network Supervisor

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DAL721: UAL 861 traffic alert , DAL721 is also descending into ORD via the BULLZ6 will keep my eye open for you

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you're still transmitting MSP_CTR

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you might want to switch to UNICOM

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, also, you're 80 miles ahead of that UAL flight, so I really don't think he's going to be a factor

 

Sounds like an MSP "A1" CTR violation for "controlling too realistically".

Andrew James Doubleday | Twitch Stream: Ground_Point_Niner

University of North Dakota | FAA Air Traffic Collegiate Training Initiative (AT-CTI) GraduateGPN_Horizontal_-_Tertiary.thumb.png.9d7edc4d985ab7ed1dc60b92a5dfa85c.png

 

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DAL721: UAL 861 traffic alert , DAL721 is also descending into ORD via the BULLZ6 will keep my eye open for you

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you're still transmitting MSP_CTR

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, you might want to switch to UNICOM

MSP_A1_CTR: DAL721, also, you're 80 miles ahead of that UAL flight, so I really don't think he's going to be a factor

 

Sounds like an MSP "A1" CTR violation for "controlling too realistically".

+1

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this just happened to me, yea sometimes you gotta make fun of yourself

 

COMM1> LOCAL : eve ctr 160nm SE LEV FL380

 

no response, sounds busy so i wait a few minutes

 

COMM1> LOCAL : 115 lev fl380

COMM1> ATL_1_CTR : AAL2475, say location?

COMM1> LOCAL : now 110 E LEV VOR

COMM1> ATL_1_CTR : AAL2475, contact houston center on 126.950

COMM1> LOCAL : woops lol

COMM1> LOCAL : ty

COMM1> ATL_1_CTR : AAL2475, yw

 

 

on my way from MIA to Vegas. saw ATL and ZHU come up, tuned to monitor while in JAX airspace since they werent on, but i tuned the wrong freq lol

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Seen recently on ATC chat....

 

[ATC] Hold all handoffs, my mom's got to use the computer

[ATC] Someone needs to call the feds, we've got an unauthorized person in the control room

Don Desfosse
Vice President, Membership

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