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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


Jake Sims 1158411
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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

Oh allright, I didn't know vPilot is supposed to block transmissions during the calibration.

 

Life lesson: Do not tune an active frequency yet.

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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Matthew McEwen

"Tower, g'day, Clipper 811, international car park level 3 bay 14, request taxi" During a quiet evening on Sydney Tower.

Dace Nicmane

It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

Luka Stevens

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

Ross Carlson
Posted
Posted

I tested it last night, calibrated my mic while I was on a live frequency, the controller did not hear me during calibration.

Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy

Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

Weird. Hopefully it was a one-time bug.

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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Peter Lockwood
Posted
Posted

London control: BAWXXXX Report your routing

BAWXXXX: We are at flight level 175

London control: That's not a route, try again

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  • 3 weeks later...
1275389
Posted
Posted

Today, on the scopes, from a fellow controller:

MIA_TWR: ABC123, What navigational equipment do you have on board today FMC, GPS, or TACAN?

ABC123: Have FMC with no experience on how to use, main instrument is GPS, ABC123

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1275389
Posted
Posted

And today... regarding a hot mic on frequency (on voice)

MIA CTR: AAA111, hot mic.

ABC123: I wouldn't say it's hot, I'd say it's marginally good looking.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Grant Matos 1318203
Posted
Posted

ABC123: ABC123 requesting clearance

(I talked to him on voice)

ABC123: im so sorry can you change it to text

MIA_GND: ABC123, Your cruise alt is incorrect for direction of flight..can you accept FL360 or FL380?

ABC123: rgr

MIA_GND: ABC123, FL360 or FL380?

ABC123: k

MIA_GND: ABC123, Please choose one.

ABC123: i already did

MIA_GND: ABC123, Which one did you pick?

ABC123: fl360

MIA_GND: ABC123, You never said that, but okay.

MIA_GND: ABC123, cleared to [airport] via the HEDLY2 departure, then as filed. Maintain FL360. Switch to Unicom on 122.80 after departure then resume own navigation. Squawk 1467.

ABC123: k

ABC123: rgr squak 1467

MIA_GND: ABC123, readback correct. Push and start at pilot's discretion. Expect Runway 8R for departure. Advise when ready to taxi.

ABC123: how do i pushback

 

 

Just..just..sometimes..

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Magnus Meese
Posted
Posted

k

 

( )

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Andrew Ogden
Posted
Posted (edited)

Controlling Auckland Approach on a quiet day.

Me: UAL1, just confirm Push and Start NOT at your discretion?

Pilot (UAL1): Copy that, just figuring out how to close the doors mate.

Me: No problem, what aircraft are you flying?

Pilot (UAL1): PMDG 777, I've been known to take off with the doors open, standby.

Another pilot (UAE6951): Amateur mistake. amateur mistake, UEA6291, oh god, I cooked up my own callsign!, UAE 6951.

Later...

Pilot (UAL1): Holding A10, ready for blast off!

Me: That's a new one! UAL1, report airborne, runway 05R, cleared for blast off!

Pilots:

UAE6951: Wes Myer

UAL1: Gary Price

(I have consent from the pilots to put their names here)

Edited by Guest

Andrew Ogden
Gander Oceanic OCA Chief
Vancouver FIR Senior Instructor

Visit us: https://ganderoceanic.ca
Contact: [email protected] 

CZQO LogoCZVR Logo

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

Later...

Pilot (UAL1): Holding A10, ready for blast off!

Me: That's a new one! UAE1, report airborne, runway 05R, cleared for blast off!

 

And this, ladies and gentleman, is the story of the transition from United 1 to Emirates 1. The end.

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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Andrew Ogden
Posted
Posted
And this, ladies and gentleman, is the story of the transition from United 1 to Emirates 1. The end.

Yea, well. Lets just say not all airlines are predictable.

Andrew Ogden
Gander Oceanic OCA Chief
Vancouver FIR Senior Instructor

Visit us: https://ganderoceanic.ca
Contact: [email protected] 

CZQO LogoCZVR Logo

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Zain Khan
Posted
Posted

One moment where I was controlling and Andrew Ogden, when he was controlling a TMA position above my airspace told me on TeamSpeak that a aircraft (can't remember his callsign) had been told to "contact Christchurch Control on 126.000" and then the pilot had read back instead saying "Contact Wellington Control", pronouncing the station he is handing off to wrong. Andrew on TeamSpeak said to me and also via ATC chat through EuroScope "That was a first, Wellington Control?"

 

Pretty gold. I got to say there.

 

Secondly when I saw on VAT-Spy 8 aircraft coming in a group into Christchurch Airport from Sydney and eventually as I hopped on to Christchurch Tower, one of the aircraft, ANZ884 flown by Ablai, who I ended up remembering from Matt Davies' video had been PMing me telling a aircraft to slow down so that he can win a race and to maintain separation. And in the end when all the aircraft landed, I transmitted over the frequency "Well that was a cavalry" and one of the aircraft replied "Haha yeah it was."

 

These moments were so cringeworthy and as a controller, I found it although a little immature, I found it quite funny. It was fantastic.

Zain Khan NZAA - 1345074

 

Enroute Controller (C1)

Pacific Oceanic Partnership Oceanic Endorsed Controller (/O)

VATSIM New Zealand

 

http://www.twitch.tv/zkaviator

http://www.instagram.com/zkaviator

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Frank Grivel
Posted
Posted

A fellow DutchVACC controller posted this not long ago in our forums:

 

(on text)

(pilot): Communication check

(ATC): [pilot], I can read you 5

 

Radio check via text, that's a new one...

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

I saw it on the DutchVACC forum last week.

 

It would have been funnier if he replied with: "I read you 1. Please check your keyboard." (instead of "readability 1, please check your microphone" if on voice).

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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  • 2 weeks later...
Frank Grivel
Posted
Posted

On text today:

 

PILOT: so can we talk on here

PILOT: like general

CONTROL: Pilot, Thats a Negative Captain for free talk you can switch over to a Private Message however before we proceed any futher I would like to inform you I'm in a happy relationship with my girlfriend lol

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Alexander Mann 1301855
Posted
Posted

Got this a few days ago on Gatwick Delivery:

"XXX with you, stand ..., requesting clearance".

Me: "XXX I haven't received your flight plan, please refile."

"XXX, flight plan refiled."

Me: "XXX, I still haven't received your flight plan, please confirm callsign and that it's filed for a departure from Gatwick."

"XXX, why would I file from Gatwick, I'm departing from Heathrow on stand ..."

Me: "..."

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

That moment when LON_W_CTR is extremely quiet and the controller is extremely chill.

 

LON_W_CTR: "BAWxxxx, .........................." (something I didn't quite understand, heavy accent involved)

 

*10 seconds later, no readback*

 

LON_W_CTR: "Okay then. BAWxxxx you can go over to Unicom one two two decimal eight. I'm being ignored wehhh wehhh"

 

Controller, you know who you are and you are my favorite London Controller

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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Luka Stevens
Posted
Posted

So I was observing EBBR approach and there was a JDI80K approaching, the JDI callsign is pronounced JEDI so the controller said: "Hello identified, may the force be with you".

LUKA STEVENS 
Belux vACC Training Director
   
 
 
Facebook  Twitter  Instagram
 

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

I was there too, but instead I was a departing aircraft behind him.

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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Eric Kollat 1250947
Posted
Posted

Was flying while hearing this but still funny nonetheless. Happened during the Boston FNO - I was departing.

 

Controller: "Cleared direct OSHNN, hold at OSHNN as published, expect further clearance (time)Z, time now (time)Z"

 

Pilot: "Okay, cleared direct OSHNN, we'll hold there, and by the way, we don't know how to fly a hold"

 

Controller: "Wait... what'd you say?"

 

22
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Anders Moen
Posted
Posted

From a couple of weeks back:

SAS388, radar contact FL210, climb 4200 feet.

I realized what I said while I was saying it, but for some reason I couldn't stop myself.. oh well

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Connor McLeod 1276356
Posted
Posted

One time I was controlling at KIAH as the tower controller I could not speak and before I gave an aircraft cleared to taxi I told him to sqwuak chode charlie...I tried to correct myself 3 times before actually telling him to sqwuak mode charlie...I had to walk away for a couple minutes.

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

*Flying out of Amsterdam to Gatwick*

 

"Ehhh Amsterdam Radar, TAY01... Did the Amsterdam control area expand or should I go to Unicom? I'm almost above Great Britain..."

 

The controller wasn't having a good day, but it made him laugh. Glad I could help

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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  • 3 weeks later...
Julius Kesler 1257632
Posted
Posted

14274502fa782413abe4d44a8c2900b2.png

 

This happened a couple of weeks ago, when there was a maintenance on RWY 27 at EHAM (Schiphol).

RIP for all the workers there

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Dace Nicmane
Posted
Posted

Yep. Then came the control and landed everyone on 22.

 

Another one.

A pilot keeps asking for his own headings and altitudes during an event.

Controller: XXX, we'll get you through this. For now maintain your heading and altitude. We'll get you to the ILS, I promise.

KntU2Cw.jpg
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