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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


Jake Sims 1158411
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Kenneth Bambach 1008842
Posted
Posted

Oh man, I hope he didn't call CNN after that. "Danger in the skies....Controllers drinking and taking personal phone calls at work"

Ken Bambach

ZMA ATM

VATSIM Supervisor

 

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Matthew McEwen

"Tower, g'day, Clipper 811, international car park level 3 bay 14, request taxi" During a quiet evening on Sydney Tower.

Dace Nicmane

It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

Luka Stevens

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

Dace Nicmane
Posted
Posted

This is hilarious. I'm crying

Perhaps he was somehow aviation related? I'm wondering if the ordinary person would understand all that and know about the FAA etc.

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Joseph Jucha 1343412
Posted
Posted

Good point Dace, geeze I hope he didn't just finish ground school or something.

I got to the door!

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Dace Nicmane
Posted
Posted

Poor guy, he must have been really upset if he didn’t take your order. Did he hear the readbacks as well or were those on your headphones only?

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Anton O'Malley 1262267
Posted
Posted

Had a plane when I was controlling LGA_GND in NY's "Night in Queens event". I gave him taxiway instructions and he's taxiing all over the place. I wondered if he knew what he was doing:

"[Callsign], where are you going?"

"Runway 4"

"Okay, but the ATIS says 13 is active and I gave you instructions to 13"

"Ok, we'll go to 13"

"Runway 13, taxi via ..."

"Roger".

On my ASDE-X I see him on/in the terminal and decided to ask

"[Callsign], where are you?"

"We're inside the terminal"

"Taxiways were made for a reason..."

C'mon fellow pilots.. If you don't understand something, please, please, please ask. I'm a pilot on VATSIM, it can get confusing, but why not ask? Taxiing thru a terminal building isn't the smartest thing to do, right?

- Anton O'Malley

Proud DeltaVA pilot

S2 controller at ULLL and ZNY

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Ernesto Alvarez 818262
Posted
Posted

sounds more like you had a troll that was just there to do whatever he wanted, not a case of not knowing where to go.

 

in these cases, if there is no traffic, i just lettem find their way to the [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned runway. when there is traffic, "stop stop stop" followed by progressive instructions. if it continue, .wallop

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Anton O'Malley 1262267
Posted
Posted
sounds more like you had a troll that was just there to do whatever he wanted, not a case of not knowing where to go.

 

in these cases, if there is no traffic, i just lettem find their way to the [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned runway. when there is traffic, "stop stop stop" followed by progressive instructions. if it continue, .wallop

 

I luckily didn't have lots of traffic at that time, at the end I just said "taxi to 13, via any taxiway you like, just hold short of all runway and advise". I guess he was a troll, but I couldn't focus on him too much...

- Anton O'Malley

Proud DeltaVA pilot

S2 controller at ULLL and ZNY

30

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Alex Bresnick
Posted
Posted (edited)

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Edited by Alex Bresnick
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  • 3 weeks later...
Fredric Greenblott 1346549
Posted
Posted

Heard this a couple days ago while I was waiting for takeoff clearance out of KLAX... Probably the funniest thing I've seen as well.

 

Me: SWAXXX, holding short 25R at Bravo, ready to go.

ATC: SWAXXX, cleared for takeoff runway 25R. Traffic will be a Delta 757 landing on the parallel.

Me: Roger, cleared for takeoff, 25R, SWAXXX.

DALXXX (on a 5 mile short final): Hello LAX tower, we are clearance for landing 25R.

ATC: DALXXX, negative, go around, landing runway is 25L.

DALXXX: (Says nothing and proceeds to swerve over to 25L)

ATC: DALXXX, go around.

DALXXX: Negative. *Disconnects*

ATC: *Speechless*

System Specs: Core i7-7700K OC'ed to 5.0GHz, 16GB Ballistix DDR4-2400 RAM, OC'ed NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1050 Ti, 80GB HDD + 1TB External HDD

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Erik Wachters
Posted
Posted
Me: SWAXXX, holding short 25R at Bravo, ready to go.

ATC: SWAXXX, cleared for takeoff runway 25R. Traffic will be a Delta 757 landing on the parallel.

Me: Roger, cleared for takeoff, 25R, SWAXXX.

DALXXX (on a 5 mile short final): Hello LAX tower, we are clearance for landing 25R.

ATC: DALXXX, negative, go around, landing runway is 25L.

DALXXX: (Says nothing and proceeds to swerve over to 25L)

ATC: DALXXX, go around.

DALXXX: Negative. *Disconnects*

ATC: *Speechless*

 

So where is the funny part?

The title on this must be:

"The most annoying things you have ever heard while controlling."

 

Erik

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  • 2 weeks later...
Nick Warren
Posted
Posted

I realize IFR procedures can sometimes be a bit "challenging", but I guess there are inherent expectations with the simplicity of VFR......

 

Aircraft: Nxxxx request vectors for VFR approach

Me: (Deep sigh) Nxxxx Make left traffic runway 16R, report downwind

Aircraft: Roger quasi repeats instructions

 

Aircraft diverts off path to airport, circles around a bit....

 

Aircraft: Approach, Nxxxx is unable to locate downwind.

Me: Facepalm and chuckle.

 

Took a little more work and some hard heading issuance but, got him where he needed to be in the end.

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Michal Majerczuk
Posted
Posted

This situation happend fairly recently.It was during one of my ''One off'' shifts on Eurocontrol Islands(EURI_FSS)

 

Me - EURI_FSS (UIR ATC for BIRD EISN EGPX EGTT)

ABC123 - Flying from EDDF to KSFO

 

Me - ''ABC123 Eurocontrol Islands''

About 30 sec pause

Me - ''ABC123 Eurocontrol Islands''

ABC123 - ''Eurocontrol Islands this is ABC123, sorry sir I got to disconnect quickly my Goldfish is drowning!!!''

ABC123 - Disconnected

 

I though I have heard it all on VATSIM.As we can see you learn something new everyday!

VATCAN Controller | CZVR Home Controller
Formerly VATEUD ATC Department Lead
PID/CID 1091056

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Erik Wachters
Posted
Posted

Yesterday after 15min sending .contactme I got this reply:

 

RYRxxx: First i have to do the dishes then i will contact you

 

Same session 10 min later, other pilot:

 

I put him on a 30° intercept for the LOC and cleared him for the ILS25L.

He overshoots the LOC and proceed for about 5 miles.

 

ME: Right heading 360 maintain 3000, what's the reason for the overshoot?

Pilot: Unable to arm localiser or approach button for ILS.

 

Erik

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

You could have contacted a SUP for the first one, I suppose.

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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  • Board of Governors
Nicholas Cavacini
Posted
Posted

Not to get off topic but yes you can. Once you enter into controlled airspace, A9 ceases to exist and B3 is what covers it. You do not need to wait 30 minutes to request a SUP and we do not need and are told to not give 30 minutes. The specific amount of time is at our discretion based on different factors but 30 minutes is not required. Saying that you either have to or can give up to 30 minutes was based on an incorrect interpretation of the code of conduct.

Nick
Vice President - Supervisors
VATSIM Board of Governors

Contact the Supervisor Team | Could you be a Supervisor?

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Unless otherwise stated, opinions are my own and not representative of the official opinion of the VATSIM Board of Governors

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Trent Hopkinson
Posted
Posted
Not to get off topic but yes you can. Once you enter into controlled airspace, A9 ceases to exist and B3 is what covers it. You do not need to wait 30 minutes to request a SUP and we do not need and are told to not give 30 minutes. The specific amount of time is at our discretion based on different factors but 30 minutes is not required. Saying that you either have to or can give up to 30 minutes was based on an incorrect interpretation of the code of conduct.

 

Additionally, once a Supervisor is called, they should attempt to make contact with the unresponsive party to ensure it isn't something silly like "the pilot forgot what his callsign sounds like" or "Couldn't hear ATC over the din of his own voice talking to his co-pilot" or other fun real-world reasons etc.

 

Indeed a Supervisor might even do a full 30mins themselves.

 

So if you wait 30mins before contacting a supervisor, and a supervisor gives mr unresponsive a 30min benifit of the doubt as well, that's 60 mins.

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Trent Hopkinson YMML. www.youtube.com/musicalaviator WorldFlight 2002,2008,2009, 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2015

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted (edited)

0dcd51f87a8c41c2aee745e47e6a287d.png

 

Please never ever just read back a clearance without actually reading it...

Edited by Guest

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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Ernesto Alvarez 818262
Posted
Posted

 

Please never ever just read back a clearance without actually reading it...

 

 

while we're at it, please dont add identifiable information, shows disrespect to the user (CoC A1). thats why everyone else filters that out if you havent noticed

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Thimo Koolen
Posted
Posted

Sorry, was a little too quick with it. I've changed the image, hopefully this is better.

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ACCNL4 (Training Director) - Dutch VACC

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David Zhong
Posted
Posted
while we're at it, please dont add identifiable information, shows disrespect to the user (CoC A1). thats why everyone else filters that out if you havent noticed

 

It may be poor etiquette, but if publishing a screenshot of a public chat is a breach of A1, then we might be a bit too sensitive. Surely there is a space that sits between breaking common courtesy and breaking the rules.

David Zhong

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Ernesto Alvarez 818262
Posted
Posted

doesnt matter how sensitive people are, its still seen as disrespectful. the whole reason this topic is still around is because people managed to keep it fairly civil, that changes when identities come out and people feel they need to defend themselves. we dont need things getting dragged into the gutter.

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Ross Carlson
Posted
Posted
while we're at it, please dont add identifiable information, shows disrespect to the user (CoC A1). thats why everyone else filters that out if you havent noticed

 

It may be poor etiquette, but if publishing a screenshot of a public chat is a breach of A1, then we might be a bit too sensitive. Surely there is a space that sits between breaking common courtesy and breaking the rules.

 

I think it's a bit of a stretch to call textual radio a "public" chat. It is only visible to those users on that channel and in range at the time. There is no public record of textual ATC comms. Posting a transcript on the forums exposes the user's mistake to a much wider audience and creates a permanent record.

 

Note that I'm not making a statement about whether or not we're too sensitive about A1 violations ... on that topic my opinion is that it's usually better to err on the side of being too respectful rather than being too careless, especially in cases like this thread where the humor of the situation remains intact without any personally-identifying information.

Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy

Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC

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David Zhong
Posted
Posted

I agree with both of you that de-identification is a great idea. What I'm getting at is that failing to do so should not constitute a breach of A1 and the possibility of disciplinary action, unless it is intentionally malicious (which it could be, if de-identification was not done after a request to do so).

David Zhong

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Nick Warren
Posted
Posted

For a topic with the term "funniest" in the title, it sure is serious in here.

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