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The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling.


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It happened to me recently that I couldn't vacate the runway and couldn't figure out why. It turned out I'd landed without gear. The controller had sent me a .contactme on final and distracted me. It

meanwhile on Belux Vacc OO-BET: approach this is OO-BET declearing an emergency, engine failure. APPROACH: roger emergency services are on the way to your currect position OO-BET: ooo there's a fie

A usual occurence on Heathrow, slightly worrying some members can't seem to operate a comp[Mod - Happy Thoughts]   ATC: BAW123, Push and start approved, face North. Pilot: Push approved, face Nor

Had a plane when I was controlling LGA_GND in NY's "Night in Queens event". I gave him taxiway instructions and he's taxiing all over the place. I wondered if he knew what he was doing:

"[Callsign], where are you going?"

"Runway 4"

"Okay, but the ATIS says 13 is active and I gave you instructions to 13"

"Ok, we'll go to 13"

"Runway 13, taxi via ..."

"Roger".

On my ASDE-X I see him on/in the terminal and decided to ask

"[Callsign], where are you?"

"We're inside the terminal"

"Taxiways were made for a reason..."

C'mon fellow pilots.. If you don't understand something, please, please, please ask. I'm a pilot on VATSIM, it can get confusing, but why not ask? Taxiing thru a terminal building isn't the smartest thing to do, right?

- Anton O'Malley

Proud DeltaVA pilot

S2 controller at ULLL and ZNY

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sounds more like you had a troll that was just there to do whatever he wanted, not a case of not knowing where to go.

 

in these cases, if there is no traffic, i just lettem find their way to the [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned runway. when there is traffic, "stop stop stop" followed by progressive instructions. if it continue, .wallop

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sounds more like you had a troll that was just there to do whatever he wanted, not a case of not knowing where to go.

 

in these cases, if there is no traffic, i just lettem find their way to the [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned runway. when there is traffic, "stop stop stop" followed by progressive instructions. if it continue, .wallop

 

I luckily didn't have lots of traffic at that time, at the end I just said "taxi to 13, via any taxiway you like, just hold short of all runway and advise". I guess he was a troll, but I couldn't focus on him too much...

- Anton O'Malley

Proud DeltaVA pilot

S2 controller at ULLL and ZNY

30

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  • 3 weeks later...

Heard this a couple days ago while I was waiting for takeoff clearance out of KLAX... Probably the funniest thing I've seen as well.

 

Me: SWAXXX, holding short 25R at Bravo, ready to go.

ATC: SWAXXX, cleared for takeoff runway 25R. Traffic will be a Delta 757 landing on the parallel.

Me: Roger, cleared for takeoff, 25R, SWAXXX.

DALXXX (on a 5 mile short final): Hello LAX tower, we are clearance for landing 25R.

ATC: DALXXX, negative, go around, landing runway is 25L.

DALXXX: (Says nothing and proceeds to swerve over to 25L)

ATC: DALXXX, go around.

DALXXX: Negative. *Disconnects*

ATC: *Speechless*

System Specs: Core i7-7700K OC'ed to 5.0GHz, 16GB Ballistix DDR4-2400 RAM, OC'ed NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1050 Ti, 80GB HDD + 1TB External HDD

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Me: SWAXXX, holding short 25R at Bravo, ready to go.

ATC: SWAXXX, cleared for takeoff runway 25R. Traffic will be a Delta 757 landing on the parallel.

Me: Roger, cleared for takeoff, 25R, SWAXXX.

DALXXX (on a 5 mile short final): Hello LAX tower, we are clearance for landing 25R.

ATC: DALXXX, negative, go around, landing runway is 25L.

DALXXX: (Says nothing and proceeds to swerve over to 25L)

ATC: DALXXX, go around.

DALXXX: Negative. *Disconnects*

ATC: *Speechless*

 

So where is the funny part?

The title on this must be:

"The most annoying things you have ever heard while controlling."

 

Erik

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  • 2 weeks later...

I realize IFR procedures can sometimes be a bit "challenging", but I guess there are inherent expectations with the simplicity of VFR......

 

Aircraft: Nxxxx request vectors for VFR approach

Me: (Deep sigh) Nxxxx Make left traffic runway 16R, report downwind

Aircraft: Roger quasi repeats instructions

 

Aircraft diverts off path to airport, circles around a bit....

 

Aircraft: Approach, Nxxxx is unable to locate downwind.

Me: Facepalm and chuckle.

 

Took a little more work and some hard heading issuance but, got him where he needed to be in the end.

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This situation happend fairly recently.It was during one of my ''One off'' shifts on Eurocontrol Islands(EURI_FSS)

 

Me - EURI_FSS (UIR ATC for BIRD EISN EGPX EGTT)

ABC123 - Flying from EDDF to KSFO

 

Me - ''ABC123 Eurocontrol Islands''

About 30 sec pause

Me - ''ABC123 Eurocontrol Islands''

ABC123 - ''Eurocontrol Islands this is ABC123, sorry sir I got to disconnect quickly my Goldfish is drowning!!!''

ABC123 - Disconnected

 

I though I have heard it all on VATSIM.As we can see you learn something new everyday!

VATEUD ATC Department Lead | Senior Divisional Instructor [i3]

For any queries contact me on [email protected]

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Yesterday after 15min sending .contactme I got this reply:

 

RYRxxx: First i have to do the dishes then i will contact you

 

Same session 10 min later, other pilot:

 

I put him on a 30° intercept for the LOC and cleared him for the ILS25L.

He overshoots the LOC and proceed for about 5 miles.

 

ME: Right heading 360 maintain 3000, what's the reason for the overshoot?

Pilot: Unable to arm localiser or approach button for ILS.

 

Erik

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Not to get off topic but yes you can. Once you enter into controlled airspace, A9 ceases to exist and B3 is what covers it. You do not need to wait 30 minutes to request a SUP and we do not need and are told to not give 30 minutes. The specific amount of time is at our discretion based on different factors but 30 minutes is not required. Saying that you either have to or can give up to 30 minutes was based on an incorrect interpretation of the code of conduct.

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Not to get off topic but yes you can. Once you enter into controlled airspace, A9 ceases to exist and B3 is what covers it. You do not need to wait 30 minutes to request a SUP and we do not need and are told to not give 30 minutes. The specific amount of time is at our discretion based on different factors but 30 minutes is not required. Saying that you either have to or can give up to 30 minutes was based on an incorrect interpretation of the code of conduct.

 

Additionally, once a Supervisor is called, they should attempt to make contact with the unresponsive party to ensure it isn't something silly like "the pilot forgot what his callsign sounds like" or "Couldn't hear ATC over the din of his own voice talking to his co-pilot" or other fun real-world reasons etc.

 

Indeed a Supervisor might even do a full 30mins themselves.

 

So if you wait 30mins before contacting a supervisor, and a supervisor gives mr unresponsive a 30min benifit of the doubt as well, that's 60 mins.

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Trent Hopkinson YMML. www.youtube.com/musicalaviator WorldFlight 2002,2008,2009, 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2015

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while we're at it, please dont add identifiable information, shows disrespect to the user (CoC A1). thats why everyone else filters that out if you havent noticed

 

It may be poor etiquette, but if publishing a screenshot of a public chat is a breach of A1, then we might be a bit too sensitive. Surely there is a space that sits between breaking common courtesy and breaking the rules.

David Zhong

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while we're at it, please dont add identifiable information, shows disrespect to the user (CoC A1). thats why everyone else filters that out if you havent noticed

 

It may be poor etiquette, but if publishing a screenshot of a public chat is a breach of A1, then we might be a bit too sensitive. Surely there is a space that sits between breaking common courtesy and breaking the rules.

 

I think it's a bit of a stretch to call textual radio a "public" chat. It is only visible to those users on that channel and in range at the time. There is no public record of textual ATC comms. Posting a transcript on the forums exposes the user's mistake to a much wider audience and creates a permanent record.

 

Note that I'm not making a statement about whether or not we're too sensitive about A1 violations ... on that topic my opinion is that it's usually better to err on the side of being too respectful rather than being too careless, especially in cases like this thread where the humor of the situation remains intact without any personally-identifying information.

Developer: vPilot, VRC, vSTARS, vERAM, VAT-Spy

Senior Controller, Boston Virtual ARTCC

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I agree with both of you that de-identification is a great idea. What I'm getting at is that failing to do so should not constitute a breach of A1 and the possibility of disciplinary action, unless it is intentionally malicious (which it could be, if de-identification was not done after a request to do so).

David Zhong

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