Todor Atanasov 878664 Posted March 25, 2014 at 06:14 AM Posted March 25, 2014 at 06:14 AM After issuing an IFR clearance over text: Hahahahahaha EuroScope BETA Tester/Board of Designers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Kirks 1252923 Posted March 26, 2014 at 02:53 AM Posted March 26, 2014 at 02:53 AM Tonight at Memphis: Me at MEM TWR: MEM TWR: "FDX12, Welcome to Memphis, exit right when able, and you're parking at the FedEx ramp, right?" FDX12 (with a smile in his voice): "Well, that's what it says on the side of the plane..." (me falling out of chair laughing) Five minutes later, a company MD-11 already at the ramp reported problems with an FSX generated black SUV chasing him while taxing. FDX12 was on a roll: FDX277: "This SUV is chasing me! Must be a UPS guy." FDX12: "What can Brown do for you?" Steve Kirks 1252923 ZME S2 Usually MEM_TWR ZLA I-3 rated pilot Usually on as: FDX4345 in a PMDG 777 N533ET in a Pilatus PC-12 N323VB in a Lancair Legacy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad Vienna 1195499 Posted March 28, 2014 at 08:05 AM Posted March 28, 2014 at 08:05 AM The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling (flying). Back in the late 80's I was flying a PA-28-181 to KCRQ and I heard the following exchange between Palomar Tower and probably a student pilot (he was in a C-152): TWR: Cessna N123 continue downwind, you're number 2 to land, tower will call your base.. and you'll be following a Bonanza on 2-mile final, report the traffic in sight. Cessna N123: Number 2 to land and I have the Bonanza in sight. KingAir N567: Palomar Tower KingAir N567 on the ILS for Runway 24. TWR: KingAir N567 You're number 3 following a Cessna 152 on the r-downwind, report the traffic in sight. KingAir N567:We have the Cessna in sight TWR: Cessna N123 turn base, cleared to land and follow the Bonanza. Cessna N123: Right base for Cessna N123 and I'll follow the Bonanza . about 10-sec later TWR: CESSNA N123 WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!! Cessna N123: I'm doing a 360* turn for spacing TWR: (Annoyed beyond belief and in a shrill screechy voice): CESSNA 123 YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! "I" WILL TELL YOU WHEN TO MAKE TURNS! , TWR: KingAir N567 go around... The actual comms are from my memory. The Cessna pilot "believed" that he was doing the right thing (though the Bonanza was already clear of the active).. The pilot doing a 360 turn on short final and the TWR controller's reaction to a pilot doing a 360 (for spacing) on short final.. 'funniest thing I have ever heard.. _________________ Chad Vienna - KCRQ ZLA Pilot Cert I-09 "The important thing in aeroplanes is that they shall be speedy." — Baron Manfred Von Richthofen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bradford Lee Posted March 28, 2014 at 06:22 PM Posted March 28, 2014 at 06:22 PM Bet his instructor had some choice words for him... Brad Lee ZJX ARTCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernesto Alvarez 818262 Posted March 28, 2014 at 06:56 PM Posted March 28, 2014 at 06:56 PM thats amazing, we had a similar event happen just a few weeks ago down here at Tamiami. tower definitely was not happy with that pilot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Evans Posted March 29, 2014 at 07:11 PM Posted March 29, 2014 at 07:11 PM The funniest things you have ever heard while controlling (flying). Back in the late 80's I was flying a PA-28-181 to KCRQ and I heard the following exchange between Palomar Tower and probably a student pilot (he was in a C-152): TWR: Cessna N123 continue downwind, you're number 2 to land, tower will call your base.. and you'll be following a Bonanza on 2-mile final, report the traffic in sight. Cessna N123: Number 2 to land and I have the Bonanza in sight. KingAir N567: Palomar Tower KingAir N567 on the ILS for Runway 24. TWR: KingAir N567 You're number 3 following a Cessna 152 on the r-downwind, report the traffic in sight. KingAir N567:We have the Cessna in sight TWR: Cessna N123 turn base, cleared to land and follow the Bonanza. Cessna N123: Right base for Cessna N123 and I'll follow the Bonanza . about 10-sec later TWR: CESSNA N123 WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!! Cessna N123: I'm doing a 360* turn for spacing TWR: (Annoyed beyond belief and in a shrill screechy voice): CESSNA 123 YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!! "I" WILL TELL YOU WHEN TO MAKE TURNS! , TWR: KingAir N567 go around... The actual comms are from my memory. The Cessna pilot "believed" that he was doing the right thing (though the Bonanza was already clear of the active).. The pilot doing a 360 turn on short final and the TWR controller's reaction to a pilot doing a 360 (for spacing) on short final.. 'funniest thing I have ever heard.. I got my PVT at Palomar.. I can probably guess the controller! Mike Evans Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy McCall Posted May 2, 2014 at 07:10 PM Posted May 2, 2014 at 07:10 PM Heard just now from London Control whilst descending into EGKK : Pilot: "London Control, good evening, with you on a SFD9P departure" LON: "Good evening.... Oh God, he's trying to kill you!" Cheers Andy McCall S3 UK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Middleton 1264577 Posted May 3, 2014 at 08:51 AM Posted May 3, 2014 at 08:51 AM Heard just now from London Control whilst descending into EGKK : Pilot: "London Control, good evening, with you on a SFD9P departure" LON: "Good evening.... Oh God, he's trying to kill you!" methinks that might of been LON_S? What utter rubbish - https://gyazo.com/c741236275df2634ed8ab451698ea10d Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bradford Lee Posted May 17, 2014 at 05:59 AM Posted May 17, 2014 at 05:59 AM I make a point to haul "Live Monkeys" on VAFS 5 whenever I can. This allows me to say, "...over to (unicom/freq), myself and my cargo of live monkeys thank you for your services!" Brad Lee ZJX ARTCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Young 1204556 Posted June 7, 2014 at 11:30 AM Posted June 7, 2014 at 11:30 AM About a month back at Gatwick, craziest thing I have ever heard. The poor controller lol... ATC: LOL123 Taxi to 27R via C, A, hold Pluto Pilot: …… ATC: LOL123 Did you copy? 27R via C, A, hold Pluto. Pilot: C, A… … ? Pluto? (Clearly thinking what on earth is Pluto?) … … ATC: LOL123 where on earth are you going, you are heading in the wrong direction? Pilot: Sorry I don’t know the airport. ATC: You could download the charts? Anyway, take your first right, then right again then go straight on all the way to Pluto. Pilot: Ok right, then right again, thanks! ATC: No problem. … … ATC: LOL123 you have just went past Pluto! Pilot: Err… err… err. ATC: OK, look you have to hold at the [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned points. Anyway, the runway is clear, line up and wait runway 27R! Pilot: Sorry, Line up and wait runway 27R. … … ATC: LOL123, what on EARTH are you doing? You have lined up facing the wrong direction! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??? Me – Coffee spat over monitor BAW151 - British Airways Virtual Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam White 1214219 Posted June 7, 2014 at 07:31 PM Posted June 7, 2014 at 07:31 PM About a month back at Gatwick, craziest thing I have ever heard. The poor controller lol... ATC: LOL123 Taxi to 27R via C, A, hold Pluto Pilot: …… ATC: LOL123 Did you copy? 27R via C, A, hold Pluto. Pilot: C, A… … ? Pluto? (Clearly thinking what on earth is Pluto?) … … ATC: LOL123 where on earth are you going, you are heading in the wrong direction? Pilot: Sorry I don’t know the airport. ATC: You could download the charts? Anyway, take your first right, then right again then go straight on all the way to Pluto. Pilot: Ok right, then right again, thanks! ATC: No problem. … … ATC: LOL123 you have just went past Pluto! Pilot: Err… err… err. ATC: OK, look you have to hold at the [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned points. Anyway, the runway is clear, line up and wait runway 27R! Pilot: Sorry, Line up and wait runway 27R. … … ATC: LOL123, what on EARTH are you doing? You have lined up facing the wrong direction! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??? Me – Coffee spat over monitor Heathrow I think, not Gatwick Lots of pilots seem to get confused about the named points at Heathrow, I can't say I have ever had a pilot line up in the wrong direction for me though! VATSIM UK S2 Rated (Essex RTS) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryan Young 1204556 Posted June 8, 2014 at 01:57 PM Posted June 8, 2014 at 01:57 PM lol yeah it was Heathrow. I've been flying out of Gatwick all the time lately hence the slip up Yep, lining up facing the gr[Mod - Happy Thoughts], utter cl[Mod - Happy Thoughts]ic! BAW151 - British Airways Virtual Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camden Bruno Posted June 9, 2014 at 02:32 AM Posted June 9, 2014 at 02:32 AM [LAX_CTR]: "AALXXXX, Say mach number" [AALXXXX]: "Mach number" [LAX_CTR]: "AALXXXX, Sir, could you say your actual mach number please?" [AALXXXX]: "My actual mach number. Is that what you want? Not sure what you mean" [LAX_CTR]: "AALXXXX, Nevermind, just say your indicated speed" [AALXXXX]: "Mach .72" [Radio silence.....] Cam B. VATSIM Supervisor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Geckler Posted June 9, 2014 at 02:49 AM Posted June 9, 2014 at 02:49 AM [LAX_CTR]: "AALXXXX, Say mach number"[AALXXXX]: "Mach number" [LAX_CTR]: "AALXXXX, Sir, could you say your actual mach number please?" [AALXXXX]: "My actual mach number. Is that what you want? Not sure what you mean" [LAX_CTR]: "AALXXXX, Nevermind, just say your indicated speed" [AALXXXX]: "Mach .72" [Radio silence.....] Say "cancel IFR"? Ryan Geckler - GK | Former VATUSA3 - Division Training Manager VATSIM Minneapolis ARTCC | FAA Miami ARTCC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brighton McMinn Posted June 9, 2014 at 04:31 PM Posted June 9, 2014 at 04:31 PM Controlling center this morning, had a text pilot call up: ABC123/R: CTR, req. IFR to KABC CTR: ABC123, confirm receive voice? ABC123/R: only if you have a nice one. Brighton McMinn Air Traffic Manager Fort Worth ARTCC VATSIM Supervisor - Team 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Imbeault 810678 Posted June 25, 2014 at 12:37 AM Posted June 25, 2014 at 12:37 AM During a shift at the center last winter; Collegue: n123 contact me now on 134.xx N123: roger 30 Sec later N123: Me now center this N123 with you on 134.xx at 110. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harrison Chan 1267897 Posted June 28, 2014 at 02:20 AM Posted June 28, 2014 at 02:20 AM It wasn't heard, but it was over text. So I am running my very usual position at CYYJ_GND (Note the GROUND) Pilot texts on my frequency about 25 miles out... ABC123: CYYJ control, ABC123 requesting clearance to land runway 27. CYYJ_G: CXA970, I am only a ground controller, arrival on UNICOM, 122.800 ABC123: rgr thx *ABC123 continues to use my frequency as UNICOM, I leave him be since there are no traffic within the vicinity of YYJ* ABC123: Victoria traffic, ABC123 is downwind for ILS approach to rwy 27 at 10000 ABC123: Victoria traffic, ABC123 is established rwy 27 ABC123: Victoria traffic, ABC 123 is on final rwy 27bbbbb *appears to have landed but doesn't stop and keeps going* Appears to go around, then disconnects. Website: http://www.pilotharrison.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phill Powell 849479 Posted July 3, 2014 at 02:36 PM Posted July 3, 2014 at 02:36 PM Observing Manchester recently. EGCC_N_TWR KLM*** Taxi holding point D1, QNH1012 KLM*** Taxi holding point D1, cross RWY 23R, hold short RWY23L, T1 EGCC_N_TWR KLM*** Negative hold short RWY23R at D1 This controller was working hard as a large percentage of the traffic were not listening to him, just saying what they expected to hear. Well done for keeping your cool. Vatsim network supervisor VATeud I1/VATeir local examiner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniel Eamon Brennan Posted July 5, 2014 at 08:03 PM Posted July 5, 2014 at 08:03 PM Whilst at EIDW this evening: PILOT: "Is there an alternative to the north/north east?" ATC: "Affirm, runway 16." PILOT: "Can we have the ICAO for that!?" ATC: "E-I-D-W run-way 1-6!" Daniel Eamon Brennan - C3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harrison Chan 1267897 Posted July 5, 2014 at 08:23 PM Posted July 5, 2014 at 08:23 PM So today mentor and I were running CZVR. I was on CYVR_GND. FDCXXX: Freight dog XXX requesting IFR clearance to Memphis.. Me: FDCXXX you are cleared to Memphis via YVR8 departure, Flight Plan route, squawk 4611 FDCXXX: cleared to Memphis via YVR8 FP route sq 4611 Me: FDCXXX readback correct, push and start at your discretion, EXPECT 26L departure. FDCXXX : Roger. FDCXXX: ready to taxi Me: Runway 26L,altimeter 3014, taxi via J, H, D FDCXXX: rgr, J, H, D *taxis through the building, and to M9* Me: FDCXXX I [Mod - Happy Thoughts]igned you 26L? FDCXXX: Can I have 26R? (I consult my mentor on Centre... He says fine) Me: FDCXXX approved, depart on YVR8 departure, flight plan route unchanged FDCXXX : What is the Vancouver 8? Me: On departure, fly runway heading, climb maintain 7000 feet. FDCXXX : Roger, cleared takeoff 26L. Me: FDCXXX you were not cleared for takeoff. Contact Centre 133.70. Website: http://www.pilotharrison.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zachary Woock 1176893 Posted September 26, 2014 at 08:06 PM Posted September 26, 2014 at 08:06 PM NY Controller: Monitor unicorn 122.8 G'Day. Laughed so hard. ZNY ARTCC S3 FAA ATP CFII/MEI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Lim Posted October 8, 2014 at 02:18 AM Posted October 8, 2014 at 02:18 AM Not a controller, but was tuned into tower -- I had some guy crash his aircraft (I think it was KJFK) on the runway and started to go through emergency proceedures... Soarbywire - Flight Simulation and Avionic Engineering Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierre Ferran Posted October 12, 2014 at 04:23 PM Posted October 12, 2014 at 04:23 PM Got this today: vSMR Plugin for EuroScope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenneth Bambach 1008842 Posted October 12, 2014 at 08:26 PM Posted October 12, 2014 at 08:26 PM Keyboard check 5x5 Ken Bambach ZMA ATM VATSIM Supervisor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Miller Posted October 22, 2014 at 03:13 AM Posted October 22, 2014 at 03:13 AM Viewed on unicom this evening... "NXXXX: excuse me sir but I have been trying to contact unicom for some time now I believe he may have stepped away can you check?" Then later "NXXXX: KCOE tfc look out i'm landing" Marcus Miller Houston Air Traffic Manager Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts